


An Immodest Proposal

by thelonebamf, WishMage



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse)
Genre: Both Kinds, Especially issue 18, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Identity Porn, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rating May Change, Real Feelings, heavy references to Spider-Man Deadpool series, marriage of necessity, stupid boys in suits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-06-30 22:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15761250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonebamf/pseuds/thelonebamf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishMage/pseuds/WishMage
Summary: When Wade Wilson finds himself in a legal bind, it's Peter Parker that comes to his rescue with an unlikely offer of marriage. After all, it's the least he can do to repay his friend. Wade might be pining after a certain web slinger while Peter is coming to terms with the depth of his own feelings, but there's no way this will get out of hand. Right?





	1. The Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> This story started off as a response to a prompt from Zannah on the "Isn't it Bromantic" Spideypool server. While the original prompt was based on the romcom "The Proposal" our plot quickly took on a life of its own...as they often do. 
> 
> Cover art is by the talented Lizardyne! Check them out on Twitter!

 

 

 

* * *

 

Even as he approached the door, Wade was trying to figure out what he was going to do when he inevitably left this place- some nondescript office in Hell's Kitchen that looked as though it was unlikely to offer help to anyone, let alone an ex-mercenary with legal troubles. He had already resigned himself to the fact that there was no solution to his problem, not a tidy one anyway, though he was trying _desperately_ to clean up his act, if not for himself then for the benefit of those around him.  
  
But his friend (possibly his one true friend in the whole world) had insisted that he come here, said that there had to be a solution to his problem, and that there were people who would actually want to help him with it.  
  
So here he was, closing the door behind him as if its window was likely to break if he looked at it too hard. He took a seat in the waiting area, hands falling between his knees, head bowed as he quietly hoped that whoever he was supposed to meet with would fail to see him entirely so he could slip away unnoticed.

 

Across the room, Peter waited for a few moments for Wade to pull himself together. He could tell the man was despairing only because he knew Wade so well, not that he could let on to that fact. He owed the man, big time, and hadn't ever really done right by him, not for long. It was time to try and keep his promise to make up for what he'd end up costing Wade. Even if Wade would never know it was him.  
  
When Wade didn't move from the slumped position, Peter stood and approached him. He moved to stand beside him, and when Wade didn't look up he tilted his head at him.  
  
"Wade?" He asked, sounding uncertain, though not for whatever reasons Wade might have imagined. He had no idea how Wade might react to him as Peter, but given that so far the interactions between Peter Parker and Deadpool included one attempted murder and two actual murders, he wasn't banking on receiving any of the good will Wade so often showed tp Spider-man.

 

Wade looked up at the sound of his name, immediately berating himself for allowing another person to get so close to him unnoticed. However it seemed that fate was wasting no time in punishing him as he soon recognized the man standing above him as none other than Peter Parker: employer and close friend of Spider-Man himself.  
  
Oh, and the man Wade had killed. Twice.  
  
A sad croak escaped his lips as he stared up at him blankly for a few seconds, utterly sure that he was about to be forcibly removed from the building, but when Peter made no move to do so, Wade took it upon himself.  
  
"S-sorry. This was a mistake. I'll just... yeah." He pushed himself up from his seat, the soft creak of old leather the only sound in the room as he made his way for the door again.

  
"Wait!" Peter was quick to dart around him to stand in front of the door, hands held before him with palms out. He searched Wade's eyes as he lowered his hands.  
  
"Spider-man asked me-" Peter licked his lips.  
  
"I'm here... he asked me to come, because you needed help with something. To make sure if there was anything you needed you'd have it. If it bothers you that I'm here though, I can go. Mr. Murdock is an excellent attorney. But I am still willing to... help, with whatever it is you need."

  
Wade grated his teeth together, not trusting himself to speak, not knowing what to say to a man he'd wronged so gravely, unable to trust that his offer of charity could possibly be genuine.  
  
_Spidey trusts him. That should be enough proof._  
  
**Yeah but Spidey trusts us too and we're a fucking mess, so what does that tell you?**  
  
The plain folder in his hands was already in poor shape, but it whispered in protest now as his fist creased it once again. He didn't like this place, with its old but scrubbed walls, its uneven but polished floors. Someone had spent too much time trying to keep it from falling down, like they were so sure the place was worth holding together.  
  
Right now, Wade couldn't help but think sometimes it was better to let nature take its course.  
  
But Spider-Man had sent him here, and with no other options, he'd shown up, desperate for any kind of solution. He didn't think he could face the man again if he didn't at least try.  
  
"It's my girl," he uttered, voice broken and coarse. "I'm gonna lose her."

 

Peter's eyes had dropped to Wade's fist when he'd made it, worried Wade was going to shove through him, so he was relieved when he spoke, but the words broke his heart. He knew Wade had been trying so hard, and that Spider-Man had ended up setting him back an immeasurable amount in the midst of his own breakdown. When the faced Itsy Bitsy for the last time it was only Wade’s willingness to step in and “get his hands dirty” that allowed Peter to walk away if not unscathed, then at least with his spirit and conscience intact.  
  
"Well, then," Peter exhaled and relaxed, then met Wade's eyes. "Let's see what Mr. Murdock can do to keep that from happening. It's worth at least seeing if he can help, right?"

 ****  
Wade nodded, taking a small step away from the door and looking back into the waiting area. Behind a second door was the office of a "Matt Murdock". The name tickled at the corners of his mind, but Wade assumed that when you had as many dealings with criminals as he did, you were bound to hear the name of a lawyer or two here and there. He just hoped the man had a soft spot for lost causes.  
  
"Yeah... yeah okay. I guess it couldn’t hurt."  
  
_It could though. So don't get your hopes up._  
  
**Or anything else for that matter. Even if Parker is easy on the eyes and has decided not to run you over with whatever luxury sports car he drives.**  
  
Wade growled quietly to himself to try and quiet the voices as he followed Peter through the door.

 ****  
When the two men entered, Matt lifted his head and then stood, gesturing to seats on the other side of table he was sitting at. He'd been working on his modified laptop, a few braille books open beside it. He closed the books as they sat.  
  
"Hello Mr Parker. Mr Wilson, I presume?" Matt held his hand out over the table.  
  
Peter took a seat and then looked up at Wade, then over at Matt.

 ****  
On a better day, Wade would have made a clever joke about Justice being blind, the sort of tasteless comment that had gotten him forcibly removed from countless conversations before. But as he was now, he couldn't summon the energy to make even a smarmy look, not that Murdock would have been able to see it. Instead he simply took the man's hand, giving it a brief shake before falling back into his own seat, giving a sideways glance to Parker, whose expression was telling him nothing at all.  
  
"Yeah, that's me. Uh, thanks for meeting with me, I'm sure you're a busy guy helping people who _aren'_ t completely hopeless."

 ****  
Matt smiled a little bit and took a seat as well. "Hopeless cases are actually our specialty here. We can't always help, but I assure you we'll do everything in our power to do so. First of all, while Mr. Parker has covered all expenses, you have every right to keep the details of your case confidential. Are you comfortable having him here while we discuss your situation?"  
  
Peter had been watching Wade, but he looked over at Matt feeling a bit betrayed Sure, the offer of confidentiality made sense, but he wanted to know what was going on so he could help if he was able.

 ****  
For a second, Wade was actually thankful Matt couldn't see the gobsmacked look on his face as he turned to Peter. He couldn't begin to imagine the number of favors the man must have owed Spider-Man in order for him to even be here; covering any of Wade's legal fees was on a completely different level of unexpected.  
  
"Is this a trick?" The words came out a little harsher than he would have liked, but he had to know the truth. "Is this like... the corporate version of digging for dirt on an enemy or something? Because if it is Parker, you're wasting your time. All of my shit is out in the open.”

 ****  
" _What_ ?" Peter's head swung back around to look at Wade in shock. The idea that Wade might think he was trying to get to him hadn't even crossed his mind when he'd been thinking of all the ways trying to help him as Peter Parker might go wrong.  
  
"No! I-" He wasn't sure what to say here that would sound at all reasonable without giving himself away. "I just... Spider-man... He trusts you." He stumbled over the words and then looked down, unable to meet Wade's eyes as he lied.  
  
"I trust _him_ with my life, he's looked out for me for a while and you're his friend. He speaks highly of you, and wants to make sure you get the help you need. He thought I might be able to do something, so I'm here. But he would be here instead if he could. Besides..." He shrugged, and added because he knew he had to convince Wade.  
  
"I don't want to see a little girl lose her dad. I know how that feels."

 ****  
"So this is a custody case?" Matt interrupted. "That shouldn't be too difficult. Recent divorce? Courts usually prefer to place any children with the mother but that's been changing in recent years, especially if you can prove your ex-wife is unable to provide a suitable environment for them."  
  
"Er, no," Wade turned away from Peter, still processing the fact that at some point in the past Spider-Man had apparently told Peter Parker that he _trusted_ him.  
  
"I mean, yeah. I did get divorced recently but she wasn't Ellie's mother. She _is_ a succubus queen which is too bad because I bet I could have easily proven to the courts that Hell isn't a great place to raise a kid. The schools there are terrible."  
  
He cleared his throat, taking a second to regroup. "She's been living with Emily Preston, a SHIELD agent, but apparently SHIELD has been cracking down on its operatives having any contact with known criminals. And as fate would have it that describes me pretty damn well."

 ****  
Matt nodded, and got up from the table. "Thank you, Mr Parker. You can wait outside if you'd like while I speak with my client." He dismissed him as he moved over to the bookshelves lining the wall and ran his hand along the covers until he found the ones he was looking for and pulled them out.  
  
Peter hesitated for a moment, blinking, and opened his mouth because he wanted to _stay_ . To _help_ . He glanced at Wade though and realized that was asking too much. He was a stranger to Wade. Someone Wade had hurt and might be suspicious of wanting revenge, apparently. He swallowed his objection, nodded and stood, tucking in his chair before he turned to go.  
  
"I'll wait outside, in case you need anything." He offered as he was pulling the door shut behind him.

 ****  
Wade opened his mouth to speak but ended up fumbling over his words, and failed to say anything coherent before Peter was gone. He kicked himself inwardly, adding "personal insult" to the list of ways he'd wronged the man. He wanted to say something, to try and apologize for this and everything else, but nothing he could think of seemed like enough.  
  
He swallowed and turned back to Matt.  
  
"So the thing is... despite all the merc business, my endless rap sheet, and the..." he glanced at the door, "the other stuff... what SHIELD is really breathing down Preston's neck about is the fact that I've been living here illegally. Why they’re zeroing in on my immigration status in particular, I don’t know. But if I stay here, it’ll end up biting Preston in the ass. She could lose her job, or worse. And I don’t want to do anything that could jeopardize the little bit of happiness Ellie has found with her family.”

 ****  
"Ah." Matt said as he set the family law books down on the table.  
  
"That could complicate things a bit. Are there any other factors I should know about before we begin?" He asked, already moving over to a different bookcase and pulling down books that looked even more well worn then the ones he'd set on the table.

 ****  
"I dunno, Murdock," Wade leaned forward, the slightest of smiles pulling at one corner of his mouth. Even though he didn't expect anything at all to come from this meeting, it was _nice_ knowing there were people who actually wanted to help him. Completely unexpected... but nice.  
  
"How much time do you have?"

 

* * *

 

  
Some time later, the two of them emerged from the office, and Wade's eyes widened when he saw Peter had remained waiting just outside.  
  
"Well, thank you. For all of this," he shook his head as he turned to face Peter. "I'm sorry for wasting your time, but I appreciate you talking to me at all. Not a lot of people would."

 ****  
Peter stood as they came out of the room, looking back and forth between them with his heart sinking. Matt's face was regretful and Wade's shoulders slumped.  
  
"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything for you before the deadline. Don't give up though." He held out his hand to shake, and kept Wade's hand when he took it, knowing he thought he had nothing to lose and wanting to keep the situation from going to hell, since he had worked with the Merc enough as Daredevil to know quickly this might go sideways.  
  
"The paperwork we pushed through today will give you a chance at getting back into the country again, legally this time, it's just going to be a long road, especially with the way things have been going with immigrants lately.  We'll continue to work with you to get you back into the country and restart the process."

 ****  
"Thank you, I... I know I keep saying it but I... well I've just been so lost ever since Preston dropped all this on me, and I don’t want to do anything that puts her family in jeopardy. I spent days going over all of this and even when I _could_ focus on all this legal mumbo jumbo I could feel it swallowing me up and everything seemed so hopeless. These aren't the kinds of contracts and documents I'm used to receiving you know?" He cracked a weak smile.  
  
"Not that I've been getting many of the other sort lately!" He turned to Peter, suddenly flustered. "I don't want you to think I've betrayed Spidey's trust. I've really been working hard to keep on the straight and narrow, no killing, only going after bonafide dirtbags. Keeping my nose clean. I guess that's why it was so devastating to find out I'd lose the ability to see my girl because of something like this."  
  
"But hey... even if I have to leave the country for a few years, that's not the worst thing ever right? I'm sure when I come back Preston will have a whole slideshow of what I missed."

 ****  
"What?" Peter's hollow and hoarse reply had Matt dropping his head for a moment instead of replying. He knew the two of them had gotten close and how worried Peter had been over this to push the meeting between himself and the mercenary.  
  
Peter stepped closer. "So there's nothing we can do to stop this? Stop them from deporting him?" He asked, unable to hide his upset and not considering that it was giving too much away.  
  
Matt sighed and lifted his face toward Wade. "Unfortunately, unless you're in a relationship with someone who'd marry you in the next few days, there's nothing I can legally do."

 ****  
Wade snorted, doing his best to bite back an outright laugh.  
  
"That would be convenient, wouldn't it? And sure to give Fury a heart attack as a nice little bonus, but no. Even with the recent split with the missus, I haven't had much time to update my Tinder profile, so I guess I'm out of luck there."  
  
"That is unless of course sweet Pete here has taken a shine to me in the last two hours," he winked, but the smile on his face quickly faded. "What do you say? I don't snore that much and I make a mean breakfast spread."

 ****  
Peter blinked in surprise as he met Wade's blue eyes. His lips parted as he thought about it for a moment. Wade had no one else, no other resort. Wade was going to let himself be kicked out of the country and torn away from his daughter, possibly for years for the sake of her new family. Peter didn't know when or even _if_ he'd see his friend again.  
  
"Okay." He said, searching Wade's eyes, starting to think that yes, this _could_ work. There _was_ a way he could repay Wade for everything he'd sacrificed for him. He could keep him in the country and close to his daughter and they could figure out the rest once he was safe from deportation.

 ****  
_"Okay?"_  
  
**As in, "Okay, that's enough." I'm sure."**  
  
"Haha, yeah, sorry. You're right, that's taking the joke a bit too far, isn't it? I guess talking to  Matty here got me in a good mood, even if there's still nothing to be done." He looked down, meeting Peter's gaze, confused at the unreserved openness he found there.  
  
_Probably just scared stiff that you'd even joke about something like that._  
  
**Some things are just off limits, you know?**  
  
"I do appreciate it though, you taking the time to come all this way out here. Especially after I..." he looked up at Matt, unsure exactly what he knew. "Well, after everything."

 ****  
"What?" Peter asked, surprised he'd been brushed off like a joke, and then realized Wade either misunderstood or was trying to give him an out.  
  
"I meant to say I'm agreeing." Peter insisted. "If it will keep you from being thrown out of the country and jeopardizing your daughter’s safety, then yes. I accept your proposal." He turned to Matt.  
  
"What do we need to do to make this happen before he gets deported?"

 ****  
Matt's eyebrows furrowed as he turned to face Peter. "Soon. Within a week or two. That's plenty of time for a courthouse ceremony, but you realize the entire affair would be incredibly suspect. Is there even any record of you two knowing each other before today?"  
  
"Well. Technically I had a job with Parker bit that long ago. We not so much “with” as "on"... Although I guess we did end up working together by the end." He offered a pained smile. "But I doubt any of that would be admissible in court."

 ****  
"Spider-Man!" Peter said, and then realized it made no sense to either of them. "I mean, Spider-Man is seen regularly with Deadpool, and its public knowledge that he works as my bodyguard on the side. Since Wade's gone mostly legit, it would be easy to say that I've known him for a while, right?" Peter said, tone almost pleading.  
  
"There must be some way to make this work." He added, and then realized maybe he was too invested for someone who was barely supposed to know Wade. "I don't want a little girl to lose her family because our government has decided they're xenophobic. I don't think Spider-Man would forgive me either, if I didn't do everything in my power to keep one of his best friends here."

 ****  
"Spider-Man..." Wade echoed, his eyes trailing from Peter's earnest face to the window. Surely whatever Spider-Man had expected Peter to do, it didn't involve a hasty wedding to an unstable ex-mercenary. Would he even believe that the idea had been Parker's own, and not some half-baked scheme of Wade's? This was all of course ignoring the fact that for quite some time, Wade had been absolutely smitten with the web slinger.  
  
**Smitten hardly begins to describe it. Obsessed, maybe. Fixated. Thirsty.**  
  
_Why mince words. You're in love with the man._  
  
"Which is why this seems like a worse idea the more I think about it..." His head fell low, eyes closed. In a lot of ways things had seemed so much simpler when he was with Shiklah.  
  
_Hell does have an open immigration policy. Very cut and dry._  
  
**Cut and dry indeed. She did have a way with knives. Remember when she split us open right down the middle just so she could-**  
  
"Enough!" Wade didn't mean to shout, but the boxes were becoming unbearable, making it impossible for him to think seriously about Peter's offer, and what it might mean for the two of them.  
  
"Can I... can I just have a night to think about it? Talk things over maybe with... um... with a friend?"

 ****  
"Of course." Peter said when Wade addressed them again. He hesitated a moment and continued, not wanting Wade to feel trapped.  
  
"I'm not looking to force you to do anything you don't want, but if this is the only way we can keep you from being deported then... the offer will be on the table. I know it's not an ideal solution but, I'm guessing there isn't anything else that could be done to keep you here?" He looked to Matt then, directing his question toward him.  
  
Matt shook his head, his brows drawn together in a small frown and lips downturned. "No. If you're suspected of marrying just to keep him in the country though, you could both end up in quite a bit of trouble. It's illegal. As Mr. Wilson's attorney I have to advise against it." There was a heavy pause and his expression cleared.  
  
"However, as a man who thinks the government's near hysterical targeting of immigrants is looking more and more like what happened in Germany before World War Two, I think good people sometimes have to bend the rules in order to do what's right."

 ****  
_He's right. This is illegal._  
  
**When has that ever stopped us, though?**  
  
"There's more than just you reputation on the line this time..."  He looked back at Peter- charming, handsome, well-meaning Peter who clearly had no idea what kind of person Wade was, or else he'd never have suggested such a ridiculous solution. The question now was whether or not Wade was selfish enough to accept it.  
  
"Just give me til tomorrow. I'll call you in the morning after I have a chance to think it through."

 **  
** "Of course." Peter agreed immediately. He pulled his wallet out and took one of his cards out and handed it to Wade. "This number forwards to my personal line. Just give me a call. It was nice to meet you properly this time." He held out his hand.

 ****  
The card was neat, clean and tidy, and Wade could tell it matched Peter's life perfectly. He didn't know why the man was offering him this lifeline, but right now he didn't see any other choice but to take it.  
  
"Thank you. I will." He shook Peter's hand, pulling his own back to shove it and the card deep into his pocket. He nodded once again before bidding the two of them goodbye, shuffling out the door and back into the chill of the hallway beyond.  
  
"This is only going to make your life more difficult," Matt addressed Peter at last.

 **  
** Peter sighed and glanced over at Matt. "People have been telling me that for years. Wade's worth it, and I owe him."

 ****  
Matt's shoulders shifted as he exhaled a long breath. He could feel Peter's heart rate, faster than normal but less from panic than anticipation. He didn't fully comprehend the dealings between Spider-Man and Deadpool, only that they had become more frequent and more improbably complicated the longer the two men knew each other. He was more than willing to believe that there was a great deal Peter knew about Wade Wilson that he might never understand.  
  
"I just hope you know what you're doing."

 

* * *

 


	2. A Little Less Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade talks with a friend over drinks. 
> 
> It's not complicated at all.

>>Spidey-BABE. What's up?   
>>I mean me obviously.   
>>I mean u up?   
>>Want 2 meet up?   
>>Want 2 Watch UP?   
>>Not the first 20 min tho, it always makes me cry like a BABY

 ****  
Peter looked down at the phone he'd just turned back on and and sighed even as a smile crossed his face. _Of course_ he'd be  had the potential to be more awkward than talking to Wade right after the mercenary had murdered him. Twice.   
  
He got undressed as scenarios ran through his mind as to how this could go before pulling on the Spider-Man suit. He'd have to rearrange everything in his apartment. Move his suits somewhere else, make sure Wade never saw him working on Spidertech. They'd have to talk about where to live too, if Wade didn't want to move in with him. He picked up his phone as he shoved a bit of cold pizza in his mouth.   
  
// _Once was enough with that movie. Where to meet?_

 ****  
When his phone buzzed back, Wade whispered a few choice words of thanks. There was always the chance that Spider-Man would be busy, out of town with the Avengers, or even just asleep. But for once, fate was on his side. He'd get a chance to talk to him before... well he hadn't quite made up his mind yet about what he was going to do, but he knew he'd have a hell of easier time once he talked to his friend.  
  
>>Our roof? U kno the 1   
>>I'll bring treats!!!

 ****  
Peter finished off the slice and pulled his mask on, still chewing. Ten minutes later Spider-Man landed on the roof where they often met. He smiled to himself when he saw Wade waiting, but he felt nervous despite being happy he'd get to hear what the man was thinking.  
  
"Hey!" He called as he walked up to stand beside him. He tilted his head as he tried to get a read on his mood, searching his masked face.   
  
"How did the meeting with Murdock go? You went, right?"

 ****  
"Ooh, straight to business, huh? I like that about you, Spidey. No wasting time, no beating around the bush, no dilly dallying, no lollygaggi-" He cleared his throat and shook his head.  
  
"What I mean to say is, I went, just like you said. Kind of a surprise seeing Parker there. You did tell him it was _me_ that needed help, right?"

  
"Yeah, Wade, he knew. I told him I thought he might be able to help you where I couldn't." He hesitated, rubbed his hand over his forearm as he considered what to say next. "He's a decent guy so he agreed to see if there was anything he could do to help you. I wouldn't have asked him if I didn't think you could trust him."

 ****  
Wade sighed and reached behind his back to produce a heavy bag covered in translucent grease spots as well as a few bottles, two of which he cracked open with ease.  
  
"Yeah. I get that. And you're right, he _is_ a good guy and... and I do trust him. At least, I trust that _you_ trust him, and that's good enough for me." He took a long swig from one of the bottles as he tossed the other over to Peter’s waiting hands.   
  
"You..." He paused, tongue and teeth running over his bottom lip for half a second, "I mean, your opinion. It means a lot to me, Webs."

 **  
** Peter's lips lifted and he reached up to clap Wade on the bicep. "Thanks Wade. I think pretty highly of yours too. So, you going to tell me what's going on, or do I have to keep trying to guess what you're thinking?"

 ****  
Normally, Wade would have been elated to hear his hero giving such open praise, but tonight it was making it harder for him to say what was on his mind. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to waste. He watched as Peter fiddled with the bottle, not opening it.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. It's... it’s why I called you out tonight. I wanted to... I don't know, run a few things past you." He emptied his bottle before pulling out another, not for the first time cursing his inability to get drunk. It would have made this a lot easier.   
  
"TLDR, Uncle Sam is breathing down my neck about not technically coming into this country all nice and legal like. Why _that's_ what the Feds are obsessed with is anyone's guess, but it has a chance of blowing up in my face, which could only improve things in that department, heh." He gave Spider-Man a strained but toothy grin.   
  
"But it could mess with other people now. Preston. Ellie. That girl has had it tough enough and I swore I'd never to anything to ruin the happiness she's found with her new family. So I can go, just hightail it out of here and not look back, and I'm sure that's just what Fury and the rest of them want me to do. But now..." He paused, drawing in a quick hiss of breath through his teeth.

  
"...Now there might be a way for me to stay."

 ****  
"Wait, _Fury_ is pushing this? Hadn't you been working for them not long before-" Spider-Man's eyes widened.   
  
"Are they pushing this because you stopped taking marks from them?" He asked, suddenly feeling furious. Wade had been doing so _well._ At least before Peter had messed everything up so badly that he'd changed, inside _and_ out.   
  
"You _want_ to stay, don't you?" Came out haltingly, almost uncertain before Wade could answer what he thought Fury's motives might be.

 **  
** "Of course I do!" Wade's head shot up as he turned to Spider-Man, wide eyed and confused. "My whole life is here! My apartment! My daughter! My..." he halted, lips pursing together in a thin line.

 

"Do... do _you_ want me to stay?"

 ****  
"Yes! Of _course_ I do Wade. I mean, I must not be doing enough as your friend if you feel like you even have to ask me that. We're _best_ friends, remember? I mean aside from the weird on again off again things you have going on with Logan. And no, I _don't_ need to know if it's sexual." His eyes narrowed and he held his hand out in warning before Wade launched into one of his tales.   
  
Wade's mouth opened and closed as he stumbled over what to say next. Usually he'd launch into an overly descriptive and innuendo laden regaling of the time X-Force "penetrated the recesses" of an enemy base, but he found his heart wasn't in it this time.   
  
"Logan wouldn't have gone to the lengths for me that you have," he assured him.   
  
He dug into one of his pouches and produced a small, white card.   
  
"Your boy Parker gave me this. I'm supposed to call him tomorrow. He offered to..." Wade flicked his tongue out once, finding that the words tasted strange on his lips. "I mean, I know it's just for the green card and all and it doesn't mean anything, but he just went ahead and said it. Didn't even think twice. Like he was giving a buddy a ride to the airport or something. Actually, scratch that, nobody hauls anyone to La Guardia without grousing."

 ****  
Peter struggled to decide if he'd been given enough information to feign a guess at what Wade was supposed to be telling him right now. He decided to go the safe route and stepped closer to Wade, wanting to offer some kind of comfort. He put his hand on his shoulder and met his masked gaze.  
  
"It's alright Wade. We can figure this out together. You have a way to get a green card, but you don't seem too happy about it?"

 ****  
"No, that's not quite it. It's just... ugh!" Wade’s hands found their way to his mask, curling up against the leather at his temples. "Sorry, sorry!"  
  
"Look, don't... don't let this get back to Parker, he's a nice guy, no, better than nice. He's a fucking _saint."_ Wade pleaded. "But that's just it. If he ties himself to me, that could ruin his life! I mean you and I meet for tacos every once in a while and kick bad guy butt and it hasn't done your reputation any favors. Just think what it could do it him? His company?"

 ****  
Peter always felt a bit guilty when he was put in the position of spying on someone he cared about by way of his secret identity, but he'd had a lot of practice pushing that down.  
  
"I think that these are probably things you could talk out with him, Wade. And Murdock can be of some help as well in that department, I bet. So, calm down." He set the beer on the rooftop ledge, reached up and gently wrapped his hands around Wade's wrists to pull them downward.   
  
"You're alright, just calm down and talk to me. We can sort this out together,” he reassured him. "Is that really what's bothering you? That he might take a hit because he's associated with you? He's seen his share of bad press, trust me."

 ****  
"That's... that's not the only thing." Wade's voice was rough but he forced himself to continue. "It's a biggie, but I thought maybe if I was on my ultra best behavior it wouldn't be too bad for the guy. I've even been on the right side of the law since... well since you and I started hanging out, I guess."  
  
His fingers tightened around the glass in his hand as he dared to speak again.   
  
"What's really got me spinning though is... well I don't know what Parker's take on marriage is. Maybe he doesn't take it too serious since he was willing to tie the knot with _this."_ He made a general sweeping motion at his face before taking another swig from his bottle. "And of course, I'm not going to like... _infringe on his freedom_ or anything like that. Handsome CEO, I'm sure he has no shortage of hotties lining up to take the company tour, as it were."   
  
"But for me... even if it's not for real, I can't... I mean I've never been good at splitting my affections more than one way. Even when Shiklah wanted us to make those stupid lists, I did it for her so she could have her fun. I never really planned on using mine for anything besides, y'know a night out on the town or whatever. Only ever called Thor that one time."   
  
"I...I'm not saying what I mean to be saying." He brought his bottle up until it chuffed against his forehead, sighing again.   
  
"What I'm trying to say is I don't know if I could get hitched while having feelings for someone else if I thought there was even a... a chance that they might feel something for me too."

 ****  
"Oh." Spider-man knew he looked as stunned as he felt and controlled his expression as he released Wade's wrists, ever thankful for his mask.  
  
"Okay. You have feelings for someone else. Maybe we can work with that? Is she an American citizen? Does she know? Do you think she could marry you? I don't want you to be miserable Wade," he confessed sincerely. He wanted to help and suddenly it felt like he was the bad guy in some spaghetti western forcing a woman to marry him instead of her lover, or risk lose her children.

 ****  
"N-no! He... well I'm pretty sure he knows. I've told him repeatedly, but I don't think he's ever taken me seriously. Most people don't." He plastered another smile on his face, but his hands continued to twitch at his sides.  
  
"And I'm pretty sure he's a citizen, can't imagine anyone loving this city so damn much unless they were a native- risking their perfect ass every night to keep it safe."   
  
He grit his teeth a little, forcing the rest out all at once. "I'm not worried about being miserable. I gave up hoping for happiness a long time ago, god knows I don't deserve it. But I... I have to ask..."   
  
"Could... could you... some day... I mean would you ever consider..." His voice cracked as he forced out one last word.   
  
_"...me?"_

 ****  
There was silence for a few heartbeats as Wade watched comprehension dawn on Spidey’s masked face. When the silence continued and he began to shift away, Spidey's hand shot out to capture his wrist lightly.  
  
Peter wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't ever considered that all the ridiculous heavy-handed innuendo might be Wade trying to express genuine interest in him. He hadn't given much thought to kindling a romance with the mercenary at all; their lives outside of patrols were so different. But when he asked himself if he'd ever give Wade a chance, the answer he found was a resounding ' _yes_ '. But even back in Matt’s office he hadn't fully realized why he was so willing go to such lengths for Wade.   
  
"I thought you were.... just... I'm sorry I didn't realize. Your _timing_ was always ridiculous. We're almost always in or about to be in a _fight_ . I thought that was your idea of playful banter or something." He said, just to say _something_ and buy himself another moment to think.   
  
If he understood Wade correctly now, he meant that if Spider-man was willing to start a relationship with him, he wouldn't marry Peter. Only, marrying Peter was _crucial_ to Wade staying in New York, with his daughter. For a moment, the thought of revealing himself flashed through his mind... but that had ended in disaster almost every time he'd done it in the past. That small, wounded part of himself he could never ignore remembered Felicia's fierce rejection of the man behind the mask and he gave into it this time. Because while Wade might be willing to accept Peter Parker as a lifeline or last resort, there was no guarantee he’d accept him as the true face of the hero he’d admired for so long. Of _course_ he'd be in this kind of situation. He sighed softly, and decided the least he could do is be as honest as he _could_ be.   
  
"My life is really complicated Wade, and I think, probably about to get a whole lot more so. I hope you will understand what that means one day, and maybe you will. It's just... right now, with your entire life and your daughter on the line, even if things weren't the way they are for me, I couldn’t say yes if it meant you'd have to give up your one shot at staying.”

 

Wade made no sound, and for a moment it seemed that he hadn't heard anything Spider-Man had said and was instead still waiting patiently for an answer. Then all at once he shifted, shoulders sliding forward, face turning back towards the open air as a long breath escaped him.

 

"Yeah. Yeah, I figured about as much. Don't blame you at all. You're right, my life is a full on dumpster fire on the back of a runaway crazy train."

 

The edges of his mouth pulled tight even as his eyes stung beneath his mask and the lights of the city began to blur.

 

"Still... Couldn't live with myself if I didn't ask. Ha, can barely manage it regardless... can't imagine anyone else pulling it off, right?"

 

He swung his legs out in front of him, kicking his heels out into the air over the ledge as he let out a high whistle, knocking over his collection of empty bottles while the tuneless melody escaped out into the night. At last he reached over and produced the last of the drinks, nudging one over to his friend. When he spoke again, his throat was tight.

 

"Drink up Webs. It's a celebration. I'm getting married!"

 

Spider-Man picked up the beer, but didn't open it. Instead he lifted it a bit in a meaningless gesture as though about to explain something, but fell silent. He felt miserable knowing he'd hurt Wade, knowing he felt rejected but also that he couldn't tell him he wasn't being rejected at all. He couldn't leave it like this.

 

"You did catch the part where I said I couldn't say yes because I don’t want to lose you, right?"

 

"Yeah, I heard you. Don't want to ruin our "special friendship" and all that. I've seen the movies." Wade nodded, but still didn't look back at him.

 

"Let's just forget it and drink, okay?" He added, his words more hasty than normal.

 

Peter stared at Wade for another moment before he downed the first drink, cracked the second drink open, and downed half the of it. He could feel himself stewing in guilt, but knew that what Wade needed was distraction.

 

"Have you ever seen Grosse Pointe Blank? I saw it last weekend and it made me think of you.... before, I mean. It's funny."

 

"Can't say that I'm surprised, buddy. That movie is totally based on the life of yours truly. So are all the last five Mission Impossibles and at least half of the Die Hards. I really gotta talk to my lawyers about cashing in on the rights." He leaned over and nudged his friend with his elbow.

 

"Who knows, maybe one day we can green light one of those buddy cop movies. Nothing too cliche, though. I'm thinking Good Cop/Awesome Cop, and one of us can have a talking sewer rat with like... laser eyes, and a strong sense of justice. With a cool name like Mr. Squeaks or Death Whisker..."

 

Wade continued rattling off potential pet names long into the night until the hollow clink of glass was beating against the roof and the sun threatened to show itself from behind the edge of the city. He bid Spider-Man a good night, swaying a little on his feet as he pulled himself up before wrapping the man in a fierce hug that lasted several seconds. More than once a soft rumble in his chest rose and faded before he finally pulled away, clasping Spider-Man on the shoulder just once before vanishing into the night.

 

The next morning there was a single text waiting on Peter's phone.

 

>>Let's do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank everyone for the comments and overall positive response! Your words are so encouragaing! We have a lot more planned for these two... the journey is just beginning...


	3. A Limited Engagement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With no time to spare it's not long before the wedding day arrives. Thankfully there's still a few moments for the two to talk, and even get to understand each other a little better.

It seemed to Peter that during the next few days, time moved at a much faster pace than he was used to. He'd even asked Johnny if Reed had been doing any experiments that might mess with the space-time continuum when he'd called to update him on his personal situation.

At the same time, some things, like accepting Wade’s joking marriage proposal seemed distant past. No one else seemed to be experiencing any temporal disturbances, so Peter assumed his discomfort was due to stress and moved on, as he didn't have time to dwell. He had a wedding to plan, after all.

Deliveries had started the day before. Peter hadn't arranged for a large event, but he'd wanted it to go well. After turning Wade down so he could marry him (something that still made him dizzy), the least he could do was plan a nice ceremony.

He'd gotten the tables and chairs set up overnight, and the florist who'd done his Aunt and Uncle's wedding had delivered flowers to decorate this morning. Now he was waiting on the linen delivery, which had been scheduled for yesterday but had an issue and had promised it would be there as of fifteen minutes ago. This morning he’d been worried they wouldn't get it before the food arrived. As the caterer had been and gone, he was now just hoping they would get here before the ceremony.

He anxiously pulled the door open for the third time since the estimated time of delivery had gone by and found Wade standing there.

"Oh, good. You're early. Come on in. Do you have everything you need?"

Wade hoisted a black garment bag a few inches into the air as he stepped through the doorway into the cozy brownstone. The soft furniture and excess of floral patterns didn't lead him to believe that Peter actually lived here, but his eyes soon caught his familiar face peeking at him from some of the picture frames that covered the walls.

"Even got it ironed," he smiled a little, eyes still wandering around the comfortable living room. "I can hurry and get changed before we head to the courthouse."

"Don't worry about that. The officiant is bringing all the paperwork. I can show you where to hang that for now, unless you want to change. It'll be probably another hour and a half before the guests arrive. Is there anything you need before the ceremony?" Peter asked, silently kicking himself for not giving Wade a call hours ago to make sure.

 

_Would it be rude to ask him to back it up like... a million steps?_

**If I didn't know better I'd say Peter Parker is trying to-**

 

"You want me to hang my suit up... here?" His head swiveled around the room, as though its cozy interior was suddenly uncanny and alien. "Here in this house where... where the judge is coming? The judge is coming here? And... guests?" Even after he stopped speaking, Wade's lips continued to to snap open and closed with silent questions.

Peter frowned slightly, and then glanced around the room as well, trying to imagine Wade's thoughts. The place he'd bought for May with Parker Industries money was nicely kept if a little dated, but clean and comfortable.

"Yes? I... I know it's not much, and now that you're saying that I realize that I should have talked to you before, but I couldn't do much for venues with a few days notice." He cupped one hand over the other and rubbed the tips of his fingers over the back and forth over it anxiously.

"It didn't occur to me you might know somewhere else. Is a little ceremony in the backyard okay with you?"

"No! No, I mean... I just assumed we were going to... You know, in and out. Sign on the dotted line. Stamp the form." He stared out into the kitchen, catching sight of several aluminum catering trays and flower arrangements for the first time.

 

**Wow. Parker went all out!**

_It makes sense, he has to make this look legit if he doesn't want to raise suspicions._

 

"Wow, Pete. You did all this?" He dropped his suit over the back of the sofa, stepping forward to take in everything, mouth gaping slightly. "It... It almost looks like a real wedding."

"It is a real wedding." Peter said as he came to stand beside Wade near the door to the kitchen. The backyard, visible through the large garden window above the sink, was decorated with strings of lights, and tidy rows of wooden chairs led the way to a makeshift altar where the two of them would soon exchange vows. Peter wanted Wade to understand that it wasn't a ruse, or elaborate play to fool anyone, but they were actually making it legal.

That was, of course, when it hit Peter. He was getting married. He'd known that, and logically he'd made preparations, but in that moment he had an emotional awakening to the idea. Not only was getting married, but it was to someone who had feelings for him, or at least his alter-ego, with no idea of who was behind the mask. He was entering into a binding contract that might last the rest of his life and he'd decided almost on a whim.

If Peter hadn't dealt with stressors far beyond the realm of human normalcy for over a decade as a superhero, he might have been given some outward sign of being overwhelmed by the enormity of the moment. But for now, he simply watched the lights twinkle on their string.

"We're going to really be married in a few hours." He repeated, and then lifted his gaze up and to the side to look at Wade. "My Aunt May helped me pick a suit." The non sequitur was the only indication of his internal conflict.

 

**He's dead serious.**

_Deadly serious. Did we check the house for knives? Guns? Bombs?_

 

If Peter had been planning some kind of elaborate revenge scheme, it would have been nothing Wade was unprepared to deal with. His entire life had spiraled more than once to such insane depths that if Peter walked down the aisle in a nuclear powered robot suit, monologuing about being the one to bring an end to the infamous Deadpool, it would be perfectly in line with everything Wade had come to expect. In fact, he'd already been working up a list of quips and puns (most of them some play on the classic "til death do us part" bit) to drop in case of that very eventuality.

 

What he was not prepared for was Peter Parker.

Peter Parker, who had dropped everything to plan a small but very lovely and very real wedding.

Peter Parker who was willing to put his own life and relationships on hold so he could help Wade out with his own ridiculous problems.

Peter Parker who for some reason took Wade seriously when he suggested they enter this insane and convoluted agreement.

Peter...who took him seriously at all.

 

"Yeah it's... it's really happening." Wade looked down to meet Peter's gaze and found himself all but trapped in the man's earnest and open expression. He took a second before clearing his throat and looking away, not sure he could withstand it any longer.

"Guess I should go get cleaned up, put on the old monkey suit," he turned his head back to Peter as he grabbed his things. "Thought about grabbing my dress. I know technically a girl like me isn't supposed to wear white on the big day, but I can't deny I like the way the lace clings in all the right places."

"Uh, Sure," Peter responded as he watched Wade pick up his garment bag. He considered for a moment and looked from the bag to Wade.

"If you wanted..." He started, and glanced at his watch and up at Wade again. "I think we have time. If you'd prefer to go and get the dress I mean." Peter licked his lips. "It wouldn't bother me any and if it would make you feel more comfortable then there's time to get it. I could have a friend who helped with setup wait here for the last deliveries while the two of us grab a Lyft."

Wade's fingers wound around the hanger of his suit for a fraction of a second before he realized Peter wasn't kidding, that he really would allow Wade to walk down the aisle in a frilly dress if that was what he wanted. There wasn't a hint of irony or bemusement to be found in his face, just genuine concern, as if he'd just found out Wade was allergic to the almonds in the wedding cake and was trying to sort out a solution.

 _"But that's what you do, isn't it? Solve problems,"_ Wade thought to himself.

"No, it's alright. I look pretty dashing in a tux too, if I say so myself." He patted the bag just over where the breast pocket would lie.

"But thank you for that. No... for all of this." He gestured lamely towards the window, still utterly at a loss.

Guilt flickered over Peter's face and he looked down, unable to look at Wade while he thanked him for this. Not when he was lying to Wade about everything at this point. He cleared his throat and looked at window Wade had gestured toward.

"I know this isn't what you wanted. I'm a stranger to you, but I wanted it to be something... hopeful maybe? You're staying with close to your daughter, and if everything goes alright you'll be able to relax and if it doesn't..." Peter turned back to Wade, thinking that soon he was going to see him in the tux and then in a few hours he'd be a married man.

 

"Well, I have a lot of respect for Matt, he's a good friend, but Anna Maria, she’s the real brains behind Parker Industries and she hires sharks for lawyers. They can handle anything that comes up. Matt's probably smarter, but these guys have more resources and fewer scruples. Matt sees more than all of em though. Im sorry, I'm babbling. Are you nervous? You probably don't get nervous. This is your second marriage, right? Or, third? I've never..." He tugged at the neck of the long sleeved t-shirt he'd thrown on when he'd woken. "The linens are late."

"Whoa, hey, slow down there, champ." Wade dropped his suit without a care and returned to Peter's side, clasping a firm hand on his shoulder.

"I know Murdock is a smart cookie, and anybody you trust to run your company when you're taking a day off is bound to be no slouch either. But you're a proper genius in your own right. I would know, I read your file back when..." He pulled his hand back suddenly, the memory of Peter's body cooling against his bedsheets replaying in his mind. He closed his eyes tightly, willing it to leave before speaking again.

"What I mean to say is... this isn't my first rodeo. I've actually... well, it's hard to remember a lot of the time." Wade jabbed a finger into his temple a few times, a sad sort of grin crossing his features.

"What I do remember is that every time I tied the knot, it was because someone else needed something. An alibi, a scapegoat, an excuse not to get married to a bloodsucking loser they ended up leaving me for eventually anyway." He shrugged.

"This is the first time that I've ever walked down that aisle, and been face to face with someone who-" he looked back to Peter, his flushed cheeks and trembling lips, the sweat on his brow and fidgeting fingers at his side. Every muscle in his body tensed, clearly signaling an oncoming panic attack.

Wade dropped his hand, and took Peter's in his own.

"Someone who I was sure had my back. You've done more than enough Peter. All of this," he looked around the room again, as though the ceremony was about to take place with just the two of them standing in the kitchen. "This is perfect."

 

**Say it again and he might almost believe you.**

_Nah, he is still a genius, even if he's about to have a well deserved breakdown._

 

"Hush now," Wade whispered to himself, before reaching out to wrap Peter in a tight hug. "If the tablecloths don't come, we'll just throw a blanket on the ground and have ourselves a picnic. And that would be perfect too."

Peter relaxed in his arms quickly, and shut his eyes as he took a deep breath to calm down. Without thinking, he let familiarity with the mercenary get the better of him, and brought his arms up to hug Wade, knowing how much the other appreciated genuine hugs. Wade's assurances that he was happy, that they would make do like they always did, calmed him until he was leaning into the hug with his eyes closed.

"Thank you." Peter said, voice muffled as he was half speaking into Wade's shirt. "I think I needed that. Sorry. I guess jitters are normal though, right?" Peter loosened his hold and dropped his arms.

 

"Do you want to go with me to get a pretzel brat at the food truck a couple blocks up? I don't want to dig into the catered stuff yet, but I'm starving."

"One thing you'll soon learn about me, Pete, is that I'm always down for some hot street meat." He gave Peter an exaggerated wink, glad for the opportunity to crack a joke and lift the mood. "Plus it will keep my stomach from growling during the ceremony."

Peter's tension eased further as he snorted at Wade's lame joke. He rolled his eyes and with a glance at the ceiling to listen and make sure May was still napping, he led the way out the door. He let Wade pass him on the stoop and shut it behind them before moving down the steps and smiled up at him as he led the way toward the food truck he liked.

"I’m the same way. I didn't really think to eat this morning, and I feel like I'm always hungry anyway so I'd hate to interrupt the ceremony because my stomach was trying to eat itself. Besides there's nothing like wrapping your lips around a hot sausage when you've been craving it all morning."

Wade bent over in laughter, in part from the joke but mostly because of how unexpected it was to hear Peter return his own. He righted himself and quickened his pace to catch up with him, spying the target truck in the distance.

 

"Maybe I shouldn't be saying this but," he began, tilting his head to study Peter a little more closely as they walked. "You certainly don't act like a fancy pants corporate guy."

Peter was smiling at him as they walked, happy to have caused the full body laugh. He nodded and rolled his eyes skyward, still smiling.

"The truth is, I’m just a science nerd. Parker Industries all but fell into my lap, you know? It was an unpredictable series of events. But that's why I let Anna Maria run things so much of the time. She knows what she's doing and has the company’s best interests in mind. Which leaves me free to play around in R and D." His lips quirked and he looked sideways at Wade.

"I hope you're not too disappointed, being hitched to a geek instead of a sharp business mogul."

Wade was already shaking his head before Peter had the chance to finish his sentence. The very idea that Wade could somehow be disappointed didn't even compute as far as he was concerned.

"To be honest? I'm kind of relieved. I don't know if you've had many interactions with Tony Stark, but I can't imagine being cooped up in a room with that guy for more than twenty minutes, let alone two years."

"Besides," he nudged Peter in the ribs slightly with the crook of his elbow. "Most CEO types are slimy as hell, nothing but the bottom line in mind. Whereas you're a decent- no, you're a good guy, Parker." His voice softened as they stepped up to the truck, barely audible over the rumbling of the cooktop inside. "I've seen proof enough of that."

"I just hope you're not too bummed out yourself." He added, a little louder now. "Marrying a trigger happy, meatball faced, out-of-work Merc instead of the supermodel-singer-songwriter of your choice."

Peter decided then and there he wasn't going to make the same mistakes with Wade that he had in the past. If he was going to marry him, and wanted Wade to come to like him as Peter, he had to think more about how to be a good husband and less about how to hide his secrets. Not that he could afford to reveal anything with SHIELD potentially waiting in the wings to investigate Peter Parker's entire life.

"To be honest I'm quite happy with how things have turned out." Peter said as he glanced over the menu.

He stepped up and ordered, and then gestured for Wade to as well. He smiled as he paid and thanked the vendor before stepping away while their sausages were cooked. He reached out and caught Wade's wrist lightly without thinking to bring his attention back to him.

"I know that this has all moved really quickly since we decided we wanted to do this. But, you make me laugh, you're genuinely considerate, I can see how much you love your little girl, and I can actually relax around you."

 

"Peter..." Wade glanced at the truck window for a fraction of a second before turning to face him straight on, firmly clasping both hands onto his shoulders as he stared directly into the younger man's eyes with every ounce of his attention.

"Whatever happens today... whoever objects or throws a fit, whatever stupid things I say because my motormouth is my go to for a quick defense..." he inhaled deeply, squaring his shoulders as he let the breath pass slowly through his lips.

"I swear to you, I'll be good to you. Be on my best behavior times ten, won't do anything to hurt your reputation or your company. Won't let anything happen to you or your aunt. Anything you want from me, anything I can do at all, any time, any place, it's yours. I know I'm a lot, and I'm sure you're gonna come to your senses and regret this whole deal eventually but-" he let his hands fall to his side, finally glancing away.

"I want to put that moment off as long as I can. I want you to-"

But whatever it was he meant to say, Wade's words were cut short by the call of the truck vendor, calling out Peter's name and foisting two hot pretzel dogs from his window.

"Hey not a minute too soon. Hate to get hitched on an empty belly, right, Pete?"

"Yeah..." Peter responded, feeling a little breathless and mentally battling the stinging heat in his cheeks. He cursed to himself as Wade walked over and grabbed the hot dogs, and then laughed and buried his face in his hand. He was bright red and knew it. Having Wade promise him something like that with that level of intensity while being able to see his eyes was quite the experience.

He dropped his hand and grinned helplessly up at Wade. He knew his face was still shaded with embarrassment, but the promise had just made Peter so genuinely happy he couldn't find it in himself to care.

"Thank you Wade." He said as he took his pretzel wrapped bratwurst.

"Offering to protect my aunt is definitely the way into my heart. Aside from food, that is." He took a bite and chewed while looking up at his fiance. He swallowed, took a deep breath and exhaled. "I hope you can be happy with me Wade. I promise too, to be the best husband I know how to be."

"This is getting a little heavy," Wade said, whistling faintly under his breath. "And I'm not just talking about the grease."

"Let's just keep it simple, huh? We'll do right by each other. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that." He tipped his dog towards Peter's own tapping the end of it to where he'd already taken a bite. "Cheers."

Peter rolled his eyes, glad that Wade hadn't changed into the suit before they ate and began the walk back the couple blocks over to May's.

"Guess the only thing left is to go make it official, huh?"

"Guess so." Peter continued to eat as they walked and then tossed the foil it had come in into a trashcan on the corner. He spotted the delivery truck from halfway down the block and hurried to catch it before it left. When Wade caught up he was speaking with the driver and turned to look at Wade.

 

"You can head inside; it's unlocked. If you go through the door on the left in the living room, there's a bathroom where you can do whatever you need to get ready. But feel free to take your time. We still have a bit before the others get here." Peter breathed a little easier, feeling that he’d regained some of his calm from earlier that day.

Wade opened his mouth to object, uncomfortable with the idea of entering the house without Peter, but he decided it was better to follow directions than risk the chance his own insecurity might spread to Peter and give him reason to panic again. Instead, he nodded without a word, slipping into the house and taking his things to get changed.

When he wanted to, Wade could be the sort of man who took ages to get ready before making his appearance. Even though most people assumed he simply threw on his red and black leathers and grabbed whatever mask was handiest (and they were often right), when it came to his "civilian" attire, he was rather picky about what he wore. Add to that the pressure of wanting to make a good impression on whatever guests Peter had seen fit to invite to their "big day" and there was a solid chance Wade might not make it out of the bathroom that day. Or year. Century even.

Eventually though, he decided things were "as good as they were going to get", and he pushed the door open, only to bump into a soft-eyed woman whose confused expression melted away as she got a look at Wade's suit.

"Er, s-sorry. Didn't think anyone was going to be out here. I'll just... yeah. I think I forgot my...hairbrush back in there..."

Without giving him a chance to duck back into the bathroom, she moved forward and caught his hand in hers, laying the other gently atop his hand to keep him there. She smiled brightly up at him, looking beyond pleased to see him. Excited even.

"You must be Wade." She said with warmth in her voice and eyes. "I'm May, Peter's aunt. I must say, you've made quite an impression on Peter. He's told me your sense of humor matches his own. I think that's wonderful." Her small hands squeezed his affectionately despite just having met him.

Wade couldn't tear himself away from May's gentle but unyielding grip.

 

_Not that we would ever be so rude as to snub the attention of an older woman._

**I mean is it me, or are we getting some major Bea Arthur fiery minx vibes from this one.**

 

"She's going to be family soon!* Wade hissed under his breath. "I mean... we're going to be family soon," he amended a little louder, hoping to pass off his internal dialogue for a mere slip of the tongue. "And I really can't wait. You raised a very fine young man, Ms. Parker."

May just smiled up at him as though she hadn't heard his slip up and patted his hand.

"Thank you for noticing. I think we’ll get along just fine.” May’s expression shifted to amusement and lifted she her hand to pat his chest. "You do cut quite a figure in your suit my dear. No wonder Peter seems enamoured with you." She gave him a playful wink.

Wade glanced down, running his palm down the front of his suit, as if to smooth down any number of imagined imperfections. He still wasn't entirely comfortable going without his mask, but as Peter and his family weren't part of the world of costumed heroes and villains, it seemed better to go without. The strange thing was, the way both the Parkers looked at him, spoke to him, almost made him forget the state of his appearance- like the only thing he had to worry about was whether his tie was tied right.

"Oh well... I... I guess that's why he decided to put a ring on it, huh?" He smiled hard enough to make his cheeks sore. "Can't risk letting all this get away."

"That's right dear." May said with a winning smile and no sense of irony. "You do have the same sort of humor it seems." She reached up and pat his cheek and then released his hand. “He's gone upstairs to get ready. Why don't you go see if you can help him with anything? It's the second door on the left."

"W-well, if you're sure that it's not bad luck to see the groom on the day of the wedding. Although I guess we already broke that taboo." His grin fell to an awkward grimace. "Say, you wouldn't happen to know if there's any superstitions about sharing dubious meat products before the blessed nuptials, would you? Probably not... err, well, better at least go see if I can help. Nothing worse than struggling with a cumberbund that won't...bund."

He gave her a small nod before hurrying up the stairs, tripping over his feet only twice but righting himself before knocking on Peter's door.

 

"Peter? Um... Pete? P-Petey?" Nothing sounded quite right coming from him. "Just checking in to make sure you haven't come to your senses."

The door swung open and Peter stood on the other side, looking amused and very shirtless. "I'm still set on marrying you Wade." He chuckled up at him, eyes crinkling in humor.

"Come on in. I dumped the last of the organizational duties on Johnny when he got here, so we can hide out until they're ready for us, if you want. He'll come get us." He stepped back into the room, waving him in before shutting the door behind him. He looked Wade over and his cheeks darkened as he did.

"You look stunning." Peter started to reach up, much in the same manner May had as though about to touch his chest. He then remembered himself, glanced up at Wade and lowered his hand as his entire face, ears and neck exploded in a flush of color.

"I'm going to look ridiculous next to you." He lamented, embarrassed, either by the blushing or almost having fondled his soon to be husband.

"Only by association," Wade assured him. He didn't miss the bright red streaking from Peter's cheeks all the way to his shoulders.

 

**It’s probably cause he's half naked!**

_He is the one who let us in, though._

**Well if you got it, flaunt it, right?**

_To bad we haven't had "it" for years now._

 

"Who's Johnny?" Wade blurted out, desperate to change the topic at hand. "An old flame?"

Peter looked at him, surprised for just a moment before completely losing it. He threw his head back as a laugh escaped him and then bent forward, cradling his stomach.

"Old flame-" Peter finally managed to wheeze out as he wiped at his red, tear stained cheeks. "Oh god, wait till he hears that." He laughed again but seemed to have regained control.

"No, nothing like that. We were roommates for a while. Johnny Storm. You know of him, at least, right?"

“Oh my god…” Wade gasped. _“They were roommates._ ” His mouth refused to close then as he gaped at Peter for several seconds.

"You know Johnny Storm? The Johnny Storm? The Human Torch? The Original Flamer? The literal hottest man alive? I mean, I understand that you and Spidey have this mutually beneficial business thing going on, but rooming with one of the Fantastic Four? That's major league, dude!"

"Oh my god." Peter’s eyes widened at Wade. "Are you a fan?" He laughed, seeming delighted rather than upset that Wade was all but gushing about another man.

"That’s good. Hopefully you'll get along with him. He's one of my best friends. He's... I think obnoxious is a kind enough word." Despite his words, Peter was grinning. "I figured you two would either get along horribly or like a house on fire."

 

“I promise to play nice, Pete. I hang out with hero types like, all the time, I can be cool. Yeah, real cool." He raised one hand and nodded vigorously, looking like nothing so much as an overgrown boy scout. "Anyways, I'm sure if he's a friend of yours he's got to be a great guy."

"He is." Peter said as he moved around Wade and over to his closet door where his shirt, waistcoat and tuxedo jacket were hanging. He took a deep breath and then yanked white shirt down and slipped it on. He looped a light blue silk tie over his shoulders and then buttoned the shirt as he turned back to Wade.

"He's just a bit much, sometimes. All the time. He'll probably be in every picture." Peter smiled fondly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "How are you not nervous? You seem like this is any other day and I feel like I'm going to vibrate out of my skin. It's a good nervous, Im excited, but this feels... big? You know. We're getting married. I’m going to be a husband."

"I'm plenty nervous Pete, but..." He looked around the room, full of Peter's old belongings. There were posters that had seen better days and hadn't made the trip to his new apartment. Textbooks crammed every available shelf. Old school awards and medals were carefully preserved and displayed on every available surface, May's doing for sure. Signs of a normal good life, the kind Wade had never been fortunate enough to lead, but one he was terrified he might destroy.

"This is hard to explain to someone who doesn't make a habit of getting into the thick of things with bad guys on a regular basis, but after taking down mob bosses, battling vampires, hopping across time to save space or the future or whatever the hell was in danger that day... after all the shit I've been through... walking down the aisle and getting married to a wholly decent guy... well it's different, but it's not scary."

"I don't blame you for having worries though," he added softly, reaching out to pat Peter’s shoulder gently, but not allowing his hand to linger. "I would, if I were you."

 

Peter suddenly looked gobsmacked as something occurred to him. "Does this mean I’m going to be a step-dad?"

"Uh... I... I guess, yeah. Yeah you will be." He rubbed the back of his neck, averting his gaze out Peter's window, feeling foolish for not having thought of it sooner. "I mean, if that's okay with you. I'm not asking you to take more time out of your life to visit with Ellie or anything. I know you're a busy guy."

"But maybe…” Wade gnawed on the inside of his cheek, “we could find a time for you two to meet?"

"I didn't mean it like that Wade. I'm…” Peter faltered and regrouped. “This isn't a hardship on me. You and me being married, or Ellie. I'm honored you'd allow me to call myself her step-dad.” He shook his head, rubbing gently at his temples. “I should have put all of this together sooner. I'll be meeting her today though. It’s why I asked for Preston’s number. I gave Johnny my phone in case any last minute stuff needed handling but Emily also texted me this morning to ask if we needed anything at the last minute."

Peter looked sideways, embarrassment flickering over his face. "I don't want you going into this with the idea that I'm ashamed or embarrassed of you. To be honest I feel kind of like..." He trailed off and guilt flickered over his expressive face.

"I feel lucky, honestly... but uh, it feels almost like I'm forcing you into this whole thing." Peter glanced at Wade and then turned his eyes to the floor. "I know you wouldn't pick me, if there were any choice in it. So I ended up lucking out, and you don't even... I mean I’m just some guy."

 

"Just some guy?" Wade's attention shot back to Peter, his eyes wide in disbelief. "Just some guy?!"

"Peter Parker... you... you can't possibly believe that's true!" It was Wade's turn to laugh, though it lacked the boundless joy and charm of Peter's earlier outburst. "I've been all over this sorry planet and I've met all kinds of people, from the top of the food chain all the way to the scum suckers making their way across the bottom."

"Maybe you misunderstood me when I said you were a decent man. Maybe to someone like you that sounds boring and ordinary. But me?" He huffed. "I've seen enough of this world to know that decent people like you, and your aunt down there? You're a rare breed."

"You're not just some guy, Peter. You're..." he paused, edges of his teeth catching on his lips as he suddenly realized how dry they were. As he looked at Peter's face, still flushed and confused, he had glimpses of shared moments on rooftops and the dark city streets. He remembered how hard he'd fought to earn the respect and friendship of his hero, how he'd struggled to find some kind of equilibrium in his life, and how sorely he'd needed the opportunity.

"You're my second chance."

 

It was stunning to hear Wade speak so highly of Peter Parker when everyone knew he held Spider-Man in the highest regard. Peter’s heart leapt at his words- at perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised him to feel a warmth in his chest at being compared favorably to his aunt. May was living proof you didn’t have to be a superhero to be an extraordinary person. Maybe ‘boring old Peter Parker’ really wasn’t so bad.

 _"Bye, Felicia,"_  he whispered, a little venom trickling into the words before he laughed softly, realizing too late that he'd hissed it aloud. "Sorry, you just made me realize some things. Thank you. I think I get too caught up comparing myself to... others." He looked to Wade’s eyes.

"I think that's something we all do," Wade admitted. "And it's not necessarily a bad thing. Like, what even are morals besides a comparison of standards in a society right?" He shrugged a little.

"We compare ourselves to other people every day, like when you see a criminal on the news, and you feel bad for the person they hurt, but a small part of you feels good because you know you wouldn't have done the bad thing they did. Well, you wouldn't have, I'm sure."

"But uh, likewise..." he could tell his own face was growing warm, the lump in his throat making it difficult to speak. "When we see people better than us, you know, leaders, mentors..." Wade chanced a glance back to meet Peter's gaze, "...heroes. Comparing ourselves to them... it gives us something to reach for, y'know?"

"I hope that as you get to know me.. all my dirty secrets, you still think that." Peter smiled and, wanting to shift the subject from heroes, looked a little devious. "I’m going to clue you in on one... I am a sucker for sci-fi, especially the classics." He directed a wink Wade's way as though he'd shared a saucy secret.

"Doesn't surprise me one bit to imagine your favorite heroes are all up in the stars. Kirk and Skywalker and..." he floundered for a moment, his eyes darting around Peter's room as though a hidden answer might be written somewhere on his walls. "...Ridley. It's probably why you're such a cool guy now."

"Ripley" Peter corrected with a smile, as he tied the tie around his neck and left it loose around his neck. "She's the best." He declared as he moved over to the mirror, ignoring the suit jacket for now.

"I'm thinking maybe you don't give yourself enough credit either. You're a hero, Wade. To a lot of people." He looked at him through the mirror.

"There's nothing quite like a story of redemption to inspire people, even when it doesn't go so smoothly." Peter smiled at Wade’s reflection. "That just makes it more relatable."

"Relatable, huh?" Wade caught Peter's eyes, looking back at him, and took the opportunity to admire the man's trim but noble figure reflected in the glass. Taking a deep breath he took a few steps forward, closing the space between them until the lapels of his tuxedo brushed against Peter's back, his chin barely grazing the smaller man's unruly hair.

"You know Pete, I take it all back. There's no point in you comparing yourself to others." Peter's confused expression in the mirror only served to deepen his smile.

"None of them measure up to you."

 

Wade was rewarded with a bright red flush before Peter looked away, averting his reflected gaze. Being with Wade was… well it was different, that was for sure, unlike any other relationship he’d ever been in. But Wade got his sense of humor. And when the man towered over him he felt protected, rather than intimidated. They were… close. Maybe it wasn’t a storybook romance, but it was comfortable and even stable in its own bizarre way. It could work. He raised his eyes again, at having that thought, and leaned back slightly, until he was flush against Wade as he met his eyes in the mirror.

"I’m sure you don't usually believe it when people compliment you, Wade, but I think you're awesome."

Wade snorted a little, the laughter welling up in his chest in a soft rumble that was just strong enough to vibrate against Peter's back.

"Well, I can believe that at least. There’s lots of ways to be awesome. Kind of like when Ollivander was explaining Voldemort to Harry. Terrible...but great." He stepped back, pausing only to ruffle a hand through Peter's hair, leaving it in no worse shape than it had been in before. He gave him a catty grin. "You didn't think you had a lockdown on the nerd stuff, did you?"

"But you better save all the sweet talk for the ceremony, Pete. Speaking of which, I think it's getting to be that time so I'll uh, let you finish suiting up."

Peter nodded as he felt Wade back away, wondering if leaning on him had been a touch too familiar. He'd been relaxed again in that moment, so comfortable around Wade he hadn't thought twice. Maybe that was pushing it though. Despite all the things he'd said to Peter, as far as Wade knew, the two of them were barely acquaintances.

He licked his lips and met the eyes of his reflection. In the next thirty minutes he was going to be a married man. He shouldn’t have to worry about leaning on Wade; the both of them should be focused on getting comfortable. It would make their marriage seem more natural.

Oh god, their _marriage._ His eyes widened as it hit him again. He was going to be married and a stepfather and in a few minutes they were going to kiss for the first time in front of both of their families.

 

"Wade." He said in a perfectly normal tone that wasn't high or panicked at all, he was certain. He whipped around, looking up and breathing deeply through his nose as he moved over to catch him before he left. "We're going to kiss in front of everyone. We're going to have to kiss and I'm going to ruin everything."

Wade glanced down to where Peter's fingers had latched onto the cuff of his suit, a gesture as endearing as it was unintentional, he was sure. His stance softened slightly, head tipping to the side as he appreciated Peter's admirable attempt to keep his cool.

Peter's lips twisted and his eyebrows furrowed, but he caught Wade's hand before the man could move away. The panic had eased again once Wade touched him, and he took a deep breath as a determined look settled over his features.

"I know," Wade whispered softly, a slow sigh escaping through his lips. "I know it's not easy. Getting up close and personal with all this," he waved a lazy hand in front of his face even as a tired smile started to form. "And I'd wear one of those high tech hologram things if it'd make it easier on you, but I feel like adding another layer of deception to this whole masquerade would be more trouble than it's worth."

"I can tell lying doesn't come easy to you Parker, you're too good." Wade's smile slowly reached his eyes as his hand came up to cup Peter's cheek, the rough pad of his thumb resting lightly at the corner of his mouth. He found himself studying Peter's lips, pink and slightly parted, with just a hint of shadow where his teeth had a habit of biting down.

"Maybe I am no good at lying, so listen." He paused, as though to make sure he had Wade's full attention. "Your skin doesn't bother me, no matter what you think of it. I know it must be hard for you, having to deal with people who don't see you instead of your skin. I can't even imagine. Just know what I'm not one of them, alright? You can be yourself with me, Wade."

"Well,” Wade mused, “if you think it would help you play the part a little better, I wouldn't be opposed to a little rehearsal."

Without waiting for a response, Peter took Wade up on his offer. He stepped closer, put his hands on his shoulders and leaned up enough to catch his lips.

 

It took several seconds for Wade to register the gentle pressure of Peter's lips against his own, and several more for him to react. At first his movements were slow, tentative, giving Peter the chance to pull away before losing one hand in his hair and curling the other gently around his waist.

Head tilted, eyes closed, he closed the space between them, letting his lips part just enough to capture Peter's own in soft and plying motions.

It wasn't heated or desperate, nothing like the frantic kisses he'd shared with the odd teammate before a dangerous mission, despite the risk facing the both of them now. Rather, it was exploratory as their bodies came together, reacting and asking questions with uncertain answers. After a few long moments, Wade finally pulled away.

"So... yeah," he swallowed hard, a faint tinge of heat rising to his cheeks despite himself. "Don't... don't think you gotta worry about that."

Peter's laugh caught him by surprise, and he smiled brightly up at Wade. "Guess not." His smile lingered, heart suddenly light.

"Okay. We've got this. That definitely wasn't awkward." He chuckled again. He glanced at the door suddenly and then fumbled his phone out of his pocket to look at the time. "Crap, can you stall for a second? I have to-" He moved around Wade and back over to the closet to yank his suit jacket off the hanger just before a knock sounded on the door.

"Yes, dear." Wade singsonged before turning on his heel and marching straight for the door.

 

**Talk about perfect timing.**

_Any excuse to turn tail so he doesn't realize you're doing your best impression of a boiled octopus._

 

He cracked the door just a sliver, slipping out into the hallway without giving the visitor the opportunity to get an eyeful of Peter's scramble.

"Peter will be right out. You know how it is. Pre-wedding jitters. Asked me to explain the birds and the bees and all that," he grinned back to Peter, throwing him a last wink as Johnny Storm strong armed his way into the room.

Peter rolled his eyes as he fiddled with his tie and didn't look up as the door opened. He let his hands drop with a huff as Johnny reached up to take the ends from him with a chuckle. He narrowed his eyes at his friend.

"This isn't funny Johnny," he mumbled, and his cheeks flushed slightly as his mind replayed that kiss in vivid detail while Johnny secured the tie against his throat.

"Are you kidding? Peter. This is hilarious." Johnny laughed again as Peter smacked his hands away and then stepped back to look his friend up and down.

"Well, Parker, ready to get married?" He asked, a laugh behind the words.

Peter looked at himself in the mirror as he buttoned his jacket and smoothed down the lapels, and smiled softly.

"You know, I think I am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to everyone who has left such kind and encouraging comments. You are the wind beneath our wings. Also feel free to find us on tumblr at amazing-spiderling and wishmage!


	4. Shovel Night

Wade hadn't been expecting to walk down the aisle of a wedding so adorable and sweet it would make a Pinterest enthusiast froth at the mouth. He hadn't expected to see Preston sitting with Ellie in the front row, the younger of the two wearing an honest to goodness dress with lace and a brightly colored floral print. And when it was all over he certainly hadn't expected to be ushered to a buffet table practically creaking under the weight of hundreds of tacos, laid out cozily next to a more prim display of sandwiches and finger foods.    
  
The ceremony had passed in a blur and after the soft applause and camera flashes, Wade found himself separated from Peter who was currently busy making small talk with every last one of the guests he'd invited. He watched from a distance, envious of the ease with which Peter carried himself, how he'd perfected just the right handshake and smile to excuse himself to speak to another guest, how everyone he spoke to seemed genuinely pleased to see him.    
  
_ He's led a very different life from you. One that comes with its own set of skills and benefits. _   
  
**And he's willing to risk it just to help you out. That's crazy! No wonder Spidey likes him.**   
  
Wade mumbled softly before distracting himself and overloading a plate with piles food that he planned to eat as far away from the crowd as possible. At least he had less of a chance of saying something stupid that way.   
  
_ But we will be back for some photos and cake, right? _   
  
**Ooh cake! I hope it's not something gross like carrot. BLECH.**   
  
_ Who would pick carrot cake for a wedding? _   
  
**I dunno, Pete seems like a guy who always eats his veggies. That's probably how he stays so fit!**   
  
"Well it didn't stop him from ordering an embarrassing number of tacos, at least."   
  
"It's kind of trendy, isn't it?" Came a lighthearted voice from behind him. "I don't know where he got the idea, but he was pretty insistent."

 

Jonny moved around him and offered a smile, his own plate piled high with tacos, slightly more toasted.    
  
"Luckily they're damn good. Everything else is from May's favorite deli. If you want to get on her good side, memorise the address." The blond grinned, winked at him and then took a large bite of taco.   
  
Once he's swallowed he looked Wade up and down. "So how's the first half hour of being Peter's husband going? You guys talk about honeymoon plans yet?" He wiggled his eyebrows and smothered a laugh by taking another bite of the taco.

 

"So far I have no complaints," Wade shrugged. "The wedding alone has already exceeded expectations. How he got a hold of my Rolodex I don't even know. He got my daughter here, her family. Hell these tacos are even from El Paisa." He hoisted his plate up a few inches in the air.   
  
"I guess it’s not really a mystery. Obviously Spider-Man told him everything he needed to know." He looked away from Johnny's too-handsome features and focused instead on the pile of sliced meats oozing gently on top of their tortilla beds.    
  
"You know, when Spidey finally agreed to hang out with me, casual like, this is where I took him. Best tacos in the city. I guess I was trying to impress the guy a little, but y'know not make it obvious." He pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, still enjoying the slight twinge and burn of the chiles as he looked out into the small crowd of people. They were almost all strangers to him, or known by reputation only like Johnny. And while he was beyond thrilled to even have Ellie and Preston around, there was one person he was sad to be missing.   
  
"Some part of me thought he might show up today. I dunno, maybe with just the mask over a nice suit, or hell in full costume even. I know he goes to Parker's big press conferences and stuff."   
  
"Not surprised he missed the wedding though," he sighed. "It's not like he was at the last one either."

 

Johnny's eyebrows arched up in surprise at Wade's focus on Spider-man, the obvious disappointment. He'd seen how genuinely it mattered that Peter made sure the wedding preparations were up to snuff and he started to get why he was doing this. Maybe.

 

"I’ve known him for a long time and believe me when I say. If Spider-man could have been at the wedding of Wade Wilson and Peter Parker, he definitely would have been here. I don't know if you realize how much he cares about you, but it's pretty damn obvious from the outside looking in. The only thing that would keep him away is some kind of family obligation." Johnny said with the kind absolute certainty that made it hard to doubt him.

 

"Does the web head ever talk about me?" He asked suddenly. "Because he talks about you all the time. We do lunch on Wednesdays. It used to be Tuesdays but someone lured him away with tacos most every week." Johnny's smile was bright and free of malice.

 

Wade could do nothing but stare back in stunned silence. Spider-Man talked about him? To other heroes? In a context other than, "Deadpool is an infected thorn in my side, could someone else please babysit the crazy man for a little while so I can get back to my life"? It was hard to wrap his head around.   
  
"Taco tuesday doesn't  _ have _ to be on a tuesday," he said at last, as though that was the most important thing Johnny had said. "Any time. Any place. Whenever friends gather to imbibe the most righteous food of the gods... be it barbacoa, carnitas, or even the sinfully savory picadillo, the spirit of Taco Tuesday is with them." He managed half a smile.    
  
"You uh, you could come some time, if you wanted. Although I'm sure life as a married man means I'll have less time to spend rollin' with the boys. Someone has to put dinner on the table, am I right?" He laughed quietly to himself but couldn't quite meet Johnny's perfect blue eyes.   
  
"Plus... I know Webs is a busy guy. Got a whole life of his own. It's not all about fighting crime and hanging with his bestie. Er... besties." He gave Johnny a quick sideways glance.

 

"If I'm honest, Wade, when I heard Spider-Man was teaming up with Deadpool, I wasn't too keen on the idea. He can handle himself of course, but partnerships have blown up in his face before. But he vouched for you, said you were really trying your best to be a better person, learn how to be a  _ hero. _ " His eyes returned to the man before him, trailing up the pressed edges of his suit to the wavering expression on Wade's face.   
  
"I don't know if you're there yet, maybe that remains to be seen. But I  _ do _ think you are trying. And that-" he prodded one finger against Wade's lapel, none to gently, "is the only reason I'm letting Parker take this chance with you."   
  
"He's a good guy, Wade. Better than you know." Johnny raised his glass to take a last drink. The clink of ice was deafening in Wade's ears. "And he's been hurt before. So just... promise me you'll get to know him. You might be surprised."   
  
"I-" Wade couldn't rightly explain how much he already owed Peter, how he wouldn't possibly to anything to put him or his feelings in jeopardy, not without exposing the entire affair, so he simply nodded.    
  
"I already am." He managed at last. "He surprises me... every day. I was damn near shocked when he said yes, y'know? I swear I'm not going to do anything to fuck this up. And if I do, well, you can send Spider-Man to kick my ass."   
  
Johnny snorted, but nodded as he turned to make small talk with a lovely employee of Parker Industries who had been making eyes at him throughout the ceremony.   
  
"Oh I'm sure he'll find out on his own. Always on top of things, that spider." His grin flashed as he started to walk away, but he called out to Wade one last time.   
  
"We never had this conversation!"   
  
"What conversation?"   
  
"Exactly!"   
  
And just like that, Wade was alone again.

* * *

 

 

Peter kept a smile on his face through the reception. It was mostly natural, but he was reeling a little from what he'd just done. He was Peter Parker-Wilson, married to Deadpool, who in turn had no idea he was now married to Spider-Man. Peter laughed aloud at the thought, drawing a couple confused looks. He ducked his head shyly and looked up at them, smiling sheepishly.    
  
"I'm just so happy," he explained. Soon after he noticed Elie not far away with a plate weighed down with the three of the gourmet cupcakes he’d ordered in lieu of a wedding cake, watching him intensely with the same shrewd look she’d worn every time he'd looked up to see her today.   
  
Quickly, Peter managed to excuse himself and maneuver  through the conversersing clusters of guests, nodding and smiling as he went until he could go up the few back steps and into the screened in back porch to take a breath.   
  
He'd been engaging with people from the moment the ceremony ended and the reception began and was starting to feel a little constricted in his formalwear. Now that he was away from the crowd, the newly wedded groom took a moment to slip his arm from his jacket, shrugging it off before setting it gently over the back of one of May’s chairs. When he looked up again, Ellie was standing in front of him, startling him enough to make him jump. He hadn't heard her come in the door.

 

She stood silently a few feet away from Peter, her large brown eyes studying his every move. Though Peter had been too anxious to spend much time during the ceremony looking at their assembled guests, he had to wonder if the young girl had worn the same dubious expression the entire time.   
  
Never taking her eyes off of him, she took an oversized cupcake from the paper plate in her hands, without bothering to look at it before taking a huge bite that left bits crumbs and frosting around her lips. She chewed thoughtfully for several seconds before wiping the remnants away with the back of her hand.   
  
"I know who you are," she said at last.

 

Peter's heart stuttered in his chest as he looked down at the tiny ninja that was his new step-daughter.    
  
"You - you do?" His eyes darted out, toward the small mingling crowd in the backyard, at his aunt, and then at Wade, who was looking their way. He swallowed and looked back down at the Ellie.

 

"Mhmm." She finally looked away from him, turning her attention back to the half eaten dessert, peeling away its paper as though she had all the time in the world before stuffing the remains in her mouth.   
  
"You're Spider-Man's boss," she added with a full mouth. "I saw you on TV."

 

The dreaded name ‘Spider-Man’ spilled from her mouth and Peter’s mind ran a trillion miles a nanosecond trying to figure out what to do about this situation before it registered fully what she'd said.   
  
"Uh, yeah... we're friends, but I do pay him." Peter said, struck dumb and feeling that particular kind of stunned he'd felt on the occasions he'd been tossed from a great height with nothing to slow his descent, only to be snatched out of the air by an ally.

 

"Oh." His explanation seemed to satisfy her, but she didn't stop studying him closely, taking in everything from the color of his tie to the strands of hair around his ears that refused to be tamed. Eventually, she looked back down at the remnants of her dessert, her tiny brow furrowed, lips pursed tight.   
  
"My dad wasn't supposed to marry you." Her hands shook a little, even as her fingers gripped the edges of her plate. "He loves Spider-Man. He's always telling me how the two of them are meant to be together."   
  
"So…” she squinted up at him, “so how come it's you?"

 

"I..." Peter started, and faltered, looking down into intense amber eyes. He took a deep breath and told her the truth, or what he hoped it would be. "I hope it's because he trusts me. I hope it means that he'll talk about me the way he always talked about Spider-man with you. I hope it's because he knows that I want him to be happy and maybe there’s a chance I can help him  _ be _ happy." He searched her eyes, not sure what she'd think of that.

 

"Oh," she replied, not looking entirely convinced.   
  
"I thought it might be because you're super rich. Dad told me he hasn't been taking so many jobs so I thought it might be that. I offered to share my allowance with him but he told me not to worry about him," she explained. "But that's dumb because I  _ always _ worry about him."   
  
Ellie sighed, her tiny shoulders rising and falling as she looked back up to Peter.   
  
"Will you still let him come to visit? The lady he was married to before didn't like it when he came to see me. I never met her but I don't think I would have liked her very much. Not even if she  _ could _ turn into a dragon."

 

"I think it would be good if he came to visit you a lot more." Peter told her, finally feeling as though he were on stable ground, and he gave her a real smile.    
  
"Maybe some time you can even come visit us at my house. I can talk to your mom and we can make plans to do dinner, and maybe a game night." He offered easily, suddenly looking forward to it, now that he'd thought of it. Wade would probably love it.

 

"That sounds pretty good..." she admitted, though her face was still scrunched up as she looked him over, trying to figure out why her dad had married such a terribly ordinary and frankly boring looking guy.    
  
Finally, she seemed to have had her fill of studying him, and her posture relaxed as she looked back out into the yard, eyeing the dwindling number of cupcakes still on display.   
  
"Do you have Overwatch?"

 

"Yeah." Peter responded, following her gaze.  "Why don’t we go grab another cupcake together and you can tell me who you play. What system do you have?" Peter asked as he tossed his jacket over a chair and then held the door for her so she could get another cupcake before they were all gone. He wanted another of the lava cakes himself.

 

"Well, teeeechnically Jeff got the Playstation for his birthday, but Mom says that we're supposed to share it. Sometimes he needs help remembering though." She nodded, a look of self satisfaction crossing her face as she quickened her pace to keep up with him. "I like playing Genji because he jumps around a lot and has cool swords and they glow when he does his super move all  _ WAAAHHHHW _ like a lightsaber or something. That probably means Genji is a good guy since his sword glows green.”   
  
“He-” Peter started, only to be cut off by Ellie’s enthusiasm.   
  
“Do you know about Star Wars? Dad says the movies are pretty old but he still watched them with me when he was over one time..."   
  
Her attention was suddenly called by Emily, who was beckoning her over while giving Peter a sympathetic look.   
  
"Oh, I guess mom wants me to go over there." She looked up at Peter. "It was pretty okay meeting you, I guess," she nodded. "Just promise to be nice to my dad."   
  
With that started to run off, before calling over her shoulder one last time. "You got really good cupcakes for your party!"

 

Peter had tried to get a word in, but ended up just chuckling and smiling at her without actually getting anything out. He waved at her as she ran off, thinking that she was more like Wade than either of them were likely aware. He looked around for Wade as he cut into a cupcake, agreeing with her about the cupcakes being good.

 

* * *

 

"Attaboy, Pete. Don't let her push you around..."   
  
**Or do. We'd like of like to see that!**   
  
_ What could the CEO of a multibillion dollar company have to fear from a grade schooler? _   
  
**Hey now, Ellie's no ordinary little booger factory.**   
  
"Yeah... she's  _ our _ little booger factory..." Wade mumbled to himself, finally pulling himself away before bumping into another familiar face.

 

"That's right she is." Preston said, crossing her arms and looking up at Wade with an arched eyebrow.   
  
"Which is why I  _ hope _ you know what you're doing here Wade. Why this guy, he seems nice but, is it the money? A legal income?" She held up her hand suddenly.   
  
"Nope, nevermind. I don't want to know. I'm here officially-unofficially on behalf of SHIELD, so I don't want to hear it." Her look went from stern worry to a softer sort of worry. " _ Do _ you know what you're doing Wade? I don't want anyone getting hurt. Even you. And especially not our girl."

 

"I don't think you'd believe me if I said I did, so I'm not going to bother." His shoulders slumped, immediately ruining the lines of his tuxedo, but he offered her a grim smile nonetheless. "But it's not like that's too different from normal, am I right?"   
  
He straightened out halfway, meeting her solemn gaze with one of his own.    
  
"I don't want anyone getting hurt either. Not Ellie, not you, and certainly not Peter. But I wouldn't get involved in something like this if I didn't think..."    
  
The sudden pop of a champagne bottle drew his attention with a start, words dying unspoken on his tongue. His hands flew instantly to his hip, grasping uselessly at empty air rather than a holster. He stared blankly into the distance for a few seconds, before slowly coming back to the present, and turning his head to face Preston again.   
  
"What I meant to say was... Pete's a good guy. And tougher than people probably give him credit for. I'm willing to be on my best behavior as long as he's willing to put up with me. Beyond that..." he blinked hard, refocusing his attention on her face.   
  
"Well, I know better than to make long term plans."

 

Preston gave him a worried frown, eyebrows slightly raised in concern.    
  
"Hate to tell you this, but marriage is long term, planned or not." She reached up and hooked his arm in hers, and pulled him toward the gate that led out to the fenced front of the property with was a modestly sized but well kept english garden with a little bench at the end of a slate path. It was raised, level with the backyard and looking over the wide sidewalk, the street beyond and the trees that lined it.   
  
"I think maybe you need to take a moment." She instructed him, her voice tolerant, understanding.    
  
"Look, Wade. I don't need to know any details, why you're marrying the guy you tossed off the Queensboro bridge or what he's thinking. I know that whatever is going on, you have Ellie's best interest at heart. But I do have one question." She paused, looked him in the eyes and made sure his attention was on her and not voices or whatever nonsense was going on in his mind. 

 

"Queensboro..." Wade racked his brain to try and figure out what Preston was talking about, but was coming up blank until at last, faint memories of giant webs and corrupt politicians darkened the corners of his mind. That was back when Cable was all but controlling his life through, another time entirely, when he and Spider-Man weren't even-   
  
"Wait, are you trying to tell me Peter was... and back then he was the guy I..." His eyes widened, though the laugh that escaped him was strangely mirthless. "I'm willing to believe in fate as much as the next guy but even that seems a little outrageous, you know what I mean?"    
  
When she was sure his focus was back on her, she continued.   
  
"Have you thought that maybe this is a good thing? SHIELD had him checked out, and he seemed like a nice guy, by all accounts. Today though, he looked happy, about marrying you. I think you should give that some thought before you decide not to make long term plans."   
  
"Nice guy doesn't even begin to cut it, Preston," he retorted. "The barista who remembers your regular order. The delivery boy who knows you by name. The cab driver that uses those minty air fresheners you like. Those are  _ nice guys." _ Wade shook his head, gnawing on the inside of one cheek as his eyes trailed up and out into the yard until they landed on Peter, laughing at some unheard joke.   
  
"Peter isn't a  _ nice guy. _ He's something special. Maybe he owes Spidey big time, or maybe he just has a thing for charity cases but after what you told me, I know for sure that he's damn crazy." He looked back to her, eyes a little red. "Who knows? Things might work out. It's just that for me... they usually don't."

 

"That's no reason not to try Wade, especially with the right people. I know you well enough to know you tend to go for the kind of awful people you  _ think _ you deserve." She looked none too happy about that and entirely unapologetic about telling him so.   
  
"Ellie is getting older, I'm asking you as her mother to start setting a good example by giving people who might be good for you a chance. It's not just about you anymore Wade. I know you think you know that, but I don't think you realize how much influence you have. A healthy relationship is something you need Wade, no matter who you feel like you worthy of. Not just for yourself."

 

Wade inhaled sharply at that, feeling the breath catch against the back of his throat, but he held it there, letting it keep him quiet as he studied Preston's tired, but concerned face.   
  
"You're a good mom. No, a great mom. Wish I'd had someone like you to give me advice when I was younger, things might have gone differently." He cleared his throat with a wet, sticking sound. "That's why it's good Ellie's with you. She might be a lot like me, but having you around will make sure she stays on the right path, no matter how bad I screw up."   
  
"Not that I'm lookin' for a loophole!" He assured her. "I'm not thinking of ways to cut and run. I- I don't want to."   
  
"I don't deserve someone as amazing as Peter, and he doesn't deserve to be stuck with a mess like me either but here we are," he gave her a tight smile. "I might not know why this is happening, but I promised him what I'm going to promise you now."   
  
He took her hands in his, breathing in deeply a few times as he pulled them up nearly to his chest.   
  
"I'm gonna try."

 

Preston smiled up at Wade then, pleased he was willing to put forth a genuine effort and thinking he'd come a long way in the last couple years. While Ellie was her first priority, she cared about Wade. She knew that inside there was a lot of good in him, struggling to find its way through all the chaos and madness that was Wade Wilson's life.    
  
"Good. I know how hard you try when you put your mind to it." She squeezed his hands and leaned up, and pulled him downward to give him a peck on the cheek.    
  
"Congratulations Wade." It was genuine, and Preston actually looked proud of him.

 

The look of shock was obvious on Wade's face as she pulled away and he took a second to run his cheek over the spot where she'd kissed him. His own lips parted and it looked like he was about to speak, but for once the infamous 'Merc with a Mouth' was silent. Instead, he launched himself at her, wrapping his arms around her until he'd pulled her flush against his chest, his forehead buried at her shoulder.   
  
"Thank you..." he mumbled. "Gonna make you proud. Ellie too. The...the whole..." he trembled a little, daring himself to say the word.    
  
"The whole family."

 

Preston inhaled in surprise, and then put her arms up around Wade, hugging him softly in return and patting his back. She remembered feeling how desperate for approval Wade could get. How alone he felt though he rarely shared it.    
  
"You are Wade. I'm proud of you." When she'd first been confronted by the scrutiny of her family due to her continued contact with Wade she'd been as furious as she was worried. Wade did things to such an extreme, she'd been afraid he'd do something insane after SHIELD’s injunction, or decide everyone was better off without him and vanish. She'd been afraid for Ellie, her family, and for Wade.    
  
While she suspected the wedding’s validity, as any SHIELD agent would, she was happy he'd found such a normal and even almost responsible way to handle the situation. The fact that the man he'd married had looked so genuinely pleased and had made a good impression on her daughter calmed the agent’s worries somewhat. And after she had a chance to speak with Peter, she’d be reporting back to SHIELD about the wedding.   
  
"You're off to a good start." She assured him.

 

* * *

 

 

"Peter, honey, you don't have to do this. You should be relaxing! It's your wedding night!" May batted at his shoulder playfully even as he continued to fold up the eighth tablecloth of the night. "Surely there's someone else who can take care of all this. Where did Johnny get off to?"

 

Peter rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure he left with the caterers when they came to pick up the trays." He replied with a somewhat fond smile. He eyes his aunt from the side, still smiling.    
  
"Why don't you head inside May? I'm almost done here and I'll be in shortly." He promised, "I think everyone else has gone, Wade is seeing his family off. Once I'm finished out here we'll be all cleaned up."

 

She huffed at him, but the light in her eyes held no real anger. "I'm not so old that I can't handle tidying up my own backyard, Peter Parker. Oh wait... it's Parker-Wilson now, isn't it?"

 

The smile that came to his face on hearig that surprised Peter, and he ducked his head, a bit embarrassed by it.    
  
"Yeah. That’s gonna take a little getting used to," he said, feeling warmth blossom in his chest. He was married to Wade, and despite the unconventional way things had come together, it felt good. It felt like a chance at something, a beginning with the possibility of becoming one of the most fulfilling relationships of his life if Wade could give Peter Parker the same chance he'd given Spider-man.   
  
"What did you think of Ellie?"

 

"Eleanor? Oh she's absolutely darling. Nothing like you were when you were that age." She laughed a little at her own joke before smiling back at him, wholly enjoying the warmth she could see on his cheeks.   
  
"Not that you weren't an adorable child, but she's so outspoken and daring. I imagine she gets that from Wade. But I can tell she's very bright, perhaps just a little more adept at risk-taking than I remember you being. Although that has certainly changed." He smile faded a little as he eyes flickered across the empty yard and towards the porch, still empty but glowing with lamplight.   
  
Peter was delighted to hear that May liked Ellie right off the bat, and his shy smile widened as he turned one of the tables to the side and started folding it's legs into it.   
  
"Peter..." she queried, voice just above a whisper. "Does he...know?"   
  
Eyes raising in concern at her tone, Peter's smile faded at the question and his eyes cut to the side in shame.  He spoke quietly. "Not yet aunt May, and I know I'll have to tell him one day, but I just don't want it to consume my whole life, you know?" He gave her a guilty glance.    
  
"I know he should know, but with everything going on right now it's not the best time and honestly... I just want to get to be myself around him without that hanging over me. I want him to know the real me without wondering if he's only with me because he knows."

 

The look in her eyes held more understanding than approval, but she nodded even as she continued folding the linens and tucking them under her arm.   
  
"If he's a man of any judgement and value at all, it won't take him long to see how special you are," she assured him. "You seem to think that there's a 'real' you, and that it's hidden far below the surface, beneath a mask. But that's not how it works."   
  
"It's not every person who could do what you do. Who would  _ choose _ to do it. If Wade has come to know you as a hero, it's because that's who you have grown to be. No matter what suit you wear." The smile returned to her face as she brushed some imagined piece of dust from his lapel, bringing her hand to cradle his cheek.   
  
"Ooooh, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Wade leaned up against the doorframe of the porch, golden light silhouetting him as the night sky cooled into an inky blue.   
  
"I was just saying goodbye to the fam, but your pal Johnny was making a big show of carrying all the platters back to the catering truck and once and I have  _ no _ idea how it happened but he  _ tripped _ right in front of that one cute cook from El Paisa, you know, Maria? And well when  _ she _ started laughing  _ I _ started laughing and after that Johnny made it pretty clear I should beat it so here I am."

 

Peter was struck by the way the light behind from outside outlined Wade’s muscular frame, the broad planes of his body barely contained by his fitted suit. His cheeks started to heat, but was saved by his own burst of laughter at Wade's story.   
  
"Oh, god, that’s perfect." Peter said with a smile as he wiped the corner of one eye, laughing again as he imagined Johnny taking a dive in front of the woman he'd decided he'd be trying to go home with that night. "Maybe he'll get lucky and she'll think it was cute. He's good with recoveries." He folded the table he'd been working on and smiled at Wade. "You think you can help me with the tables?"

 

"What do you know," Wade winked at the two of them as he pulled his jacket from his shoulders and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. "I was  _ just _ thinking Miss May's backyard was the perfect place for a gun show." He flexed one bicep, blowing a shameless kiss towards May before grabbing two folded tables from the ground before reaching out to take Peter's as well.    
  
In the cool of the night, Peter's hand felt particularly warm, and Wade had to remind himself not to react when their fingers brushed over each other. After all, what kind of husband would he be if he lost himself over such an innocent act of physical contact?   
  
**Do we even have to answer that?**   
  
_ Because the answer is a disfigured, unstable and lonely pathetic excuse for a human being who- _   
  
"Uh... be right back. Just gotta take these all inside!" Wade hurried off, leaving the confused pair in his wake.

 

Peter and May glanced at one another, and May gave Peter a warm and slightly amused smile.    
  
"You know your father panicked just like that the night he and your mother were married." She said as she handed him the stack of tablecloths she'd folded.    
  
"You noticed that too, huh?" Peter asked, feeling a bit sad that he couldn't just go to Wade as a friend. But that would mean he’d have to lay down some truths he wasn't sure he could right after everything was made official without it looking like he'd been trying to trick Wade. He looked down at the rented linens with a worried frown.   
  
He might be able to navigate his feelings eventually, but there was still a very real danger of SHIELD finding out. They had ears everywhere and Wade slipping up and calling him Spidey wasn't beyond the realm of possibility. He felt extra cautious after his enhanced hearing had caught the mumbled conversation between Ellie's adoptive parents. Each of them had been assigned to observe one of the grooms and report back to SHIELD with their findings, but it seemed as though they were satisfied that the wedding and marriage were both legitimate.

  
May's laid her hands over his with a grip that was firm but warm, drawing his gaze back up to her and he was surprised to find a laugh dancing on her lips.   
  
"Peter, go talk to your husband. I'm going to go sit in the garden and have one last glass of champagne." She gave him a playful wink and laughed again. The sound eased the tension in his chest and he smiled at her.    
  
Peter leaned in to kiss her cheek and smiled. "Thanks, aunt May."   
  
He moved inside as May picked up a champagne bottle and headed toward the gate leading to the enclosed front garden, and made a note to make sure she was settled for the night before he left. He realized as he entered the house he and Wade hadn't talked about what they'd be doing about their living situation.   
  
"Wade?" He called as he moved through the kitchen.

 

Wade had heard Peter entering through the backdoor and had to kick himself when he realized his first impulse was to run off and hide himself somewhere out of the way. He wasn't  _ afraid _ of the man, certainly not after the events of the day, but he was anxious about what was expected of him now. He'd made some daunting promises, not just to Preston and Peter, but to himself as well. Now came the formidable task of keeping them.   
  
"Yeah, in here," he called from the living room, glancing at the armchairs and sofa. Should he sit? Stay standing? Lean casually on the bannister? He couldn't remember ever feeling so out of place in his own body. Save the times he was  _ actually _ displaced from it.

 

Peter followed his voice and came into the living room to see Wade looking like he was going to come out of his skin. Peter felt for him immediately and came in with a disarming smile.    
  
"Hey." He said softly, and loosened his tie, hoping it would show he was relaxed. "I was hoping we could have a talk, about where we’ll be living, and this trip I have to take." Peter said, as he headed to the couch to sit. He left plenty of room and looked up at Wade expectantly.

 

"Right. Of course." Wade dropped himself on the other side of the sofa, hands falling between his knees as he tried not to wilt under the powerful force of Peter's good natured smile. "Probably should have sorted all this out earlier, things have just been so crazy. Well things are  _ always _ crazy with me, it's just a matter of how much. You know?"   
  
He had to bite down on his tongue to keep from rambling on further, reminding himself that Peter had been more than patient with him today and there was so much they still hadn't talked about.   
  
"You uh, still at the same place?" It sounded so casual, as though the last time Wade had set foot in Peter's apartment it hadn't been to kill him.   
  
**Technically it was to apologize for killing him!**   
  
_ That hardly makes it any better... _   
  
"To be honest I'm kind of uh, in between places at the moment. Y'know a couple of crash sites but nothing permanent. Nothing worth leaving your penthouse for."

 

Peter nodded, his mind guiltily flashing back to the apartment where Wade had taken him, where he'd kept all the things he really liked. The one even Shiklah hadn't known about... the one Spider-Man had cost him when he'd thoughtlessly betrayed Wade's trust to get to Itsy Bitsy. He nodded and swallowed his guilt down; it had no place in this conversation.

 

"I'm sure Fury would love to send one of his little cronies to drop in on us at any moment, so it's probably a good idea for us to shack up together all cozy like," he grinned a little too broadly, the edges of his cheeks a little sore. "I don't have a lot of baggage... actually poor choice of words. What I mean to say is I don't have a lot of stuff to bring over, so I could be on your doorstep in the morning with my backpack and a sleeping bag. Comfy!"   
  
"Well, a permanent address will make things easier for dealing with legalities surrounding your custody stuff. The other thing is... I have to go out of town on a business trip starting tomorrow for almost a week. It's uh... one of the reason's I rushed the wedding. I've never been before, but I hear it's beautiful, and I know that you're doing this to be closer to Ellie but... would you want to come?" Peter looked up at him, his expression apologetic.   
  
"Why, Peter Parker-Wilson! Are you asking me out on an honest to goodness honeymoon?" He clutched his chest dramatically. "So forward of you, and here I am, a married man. Why, the scandal!"

 

Peter's lips curled up and parted in a smile. "I guess it’s lucky I am your husband, so we can avoid making the seedier tabloids." He licked his lips then and glanced to the side, cheeks reddening as he gathered courage.   
  
"Do you want to stay the night and move your things in the morning? I don't want to assume anything or push you, but if you’re between places... well, we  _ did _ just get married." The blush started to flood from his cheeks down his neck and chest and Peter could  _ feel _ it. He’d never missed his mask so badly.   
  
"If anyone's paying attention, it might seem strange if we don't sleep in the same place tonight." He couldn't look at Wade, ducking his head to try and make his burning face less obvious.

 

"Oh. Yeah. Good point." Wade nodded. "I don't want this to freak you out or anything, but Preston did mention that her attendance today was not entirely in a social capacity. There's definitely eyes on the both of us."   
  
He slapped a hand on Peter's back, hard enough to make him buck with surprise. "I wouldn't worry too much though. You're a busy CEO corporate bigwig, I'm a... well, I'm  _ me. _ So if we don't look like this month's featured couple on theknot.com I don't think that should raise suspicion."

 

Peter actually perked up with Wade's reassurance, but it was because of his reference. "You've been on that site too?" He gave a relieved laugh and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.    
  
"I admit, I felt a bit ridiculous the last couple days going through all these wedding sites, especially since most cater to brides and uh... I thought maybe something more simple would be better. More comfortable for May too, I hope you don't mind. I guess it was for me too, I think a giant wedding would have... really been too much for me to handle." His head tilted and worry flickered across his face, the sheepish smile fading.   
  
"You're not disappointed we didn't do a big rich people shindig, are you?"

 

"Not at all!" Wade assured him. "I've done the big wedding thing. Huge. World record breaking. You can look it up! Honestly I didn't think half those people would show up but I guess even super types won't say no to a free meal. Well, most of them anyway..." He couldn't help it when his thoughts wandered to a certain hero who hadn't been attendance back then  _ or _ today.   
  
"I was all ready to jog with you to the courthouse this afternoon. Or I dunno, hop on a red-eye to Vegas as let a Wolverine impersonator officiate before we destroyed the all you can eat seafood buffet." He grunted a strange sort of laugh before whispering conspiratorially. "Stay away from the clams."   
  
"I mean it's no secret I've tied and untied the knot a few times before. In a chapel, at a convention, even in space that one time..." He looked up as though he could somehow see the night sky through the ceiling, and he wondered briefly what Orksa was up to these days. "But a small, intimate, backyard ceremony with close friends and family?  _ And _ my favorite tacos? Never."   
  
He scooted a little closer, giving Peter a small but genuine smile as he took his hands. Peter glanced down at the contact, then raised his eyes to meet Wade's again. His expression was open, interested, but inwardly he was trying to sort the flood of sensations that hit him when the other man took his hands. He felt an almost overwhelming surge of energy, and a pleasing heat and pressure in his chest. While it felt good, there was something slightly excruciating about it, as though the feeling would burst out from inside him if it expanded anymore. It was almost like embarrassment but distinctly not. He was still trying to put name to it when Wade continued.   
  
"Point I'm tryin' to make Pete is I would marry you at your Aunt's, I would marry you without pants." His smile grew as the sing song verses dropped from his lips without a thought. "I would marry you in NYC, or all the way in Tennessee. I'd marry you atop a hill, or even in fucking Jacksonville." He started laughing to himself, having to pull his hands away to wipe tears away from his eyes.

 

A laugh tumbled from Peter's lips when Wade began to rhyme, and as he continued Peter the tension of the overwhelming sensations in him ease. He smiled as Wade laughed.

  
"My point is, you've done so much, Peter. More than you had to. More than I had the right to ask. Just by  _ wanting _ to help me out you've already..." He caught Peter's eyes, and found himself forgetting what he'd meant to say.   
  
"You couldn't ever disappoint me, Petey. Not even if ya tried."    
  
Wade reached over, tousling Peter's already disheveled hair, before pulling himself up from the sofa.

 

"Anyways, I'll just uh, go grab my toothbrush and footie pajamas and meet you at your place? Or, I guess... ours?"   
  
"Our place." Peter agreed, looking distinctly happy when he smiled up at Wade, his hair fluffed up ridiculously. He stood, and looked up at Wade, sudden realization flickering across his face.   
  
"You might actually beat me there. I want to make sure everything is locked up and May is settled. My security allows keycode access, let me-" he pulled his phone in and typed a message then sent it, then looked up at Wade expectantly.

  
"52577..." Wade mumbled, glancing down at his screen. "That's easy. Release date of 'A New Hope'." He paused, glancing down at his screen again before giving Peter a shrewd look. "That's exactly what it is, isn't it. Parker you are such a  _ nerd!" _ He laughed, pocketing the phone before getting ready to head for the door.   
  
"I'll just say goodnight to May on the way out then. Seeya later, Petey."   
  
Seconds later, he was gone.


End file.
